Great Britain has a first winner in the male events at SW19 since 1936, and his name is Marray. This is not a typo. The Sheffield journeyman and Fredrik Nielsen shocked the world, not to mention themselves, as they played inspired tennis to take the men's doubles title and guarantee themselves the small matter of £260,000 each. So unexpected was their win that Marray hadn't even considered what he was going to do with his windfall. His Danish partner, on the other hand, had a few ideas. "Buy a new kit," he said scathingly. "You only have two playing shirts. And you can buy some new racquets."
It's end of term in the media restaurant and the lovely young ladies, frankly besotted by the elder diarist, exchange quips of a morning over the till. Their valedictory joke was about a gorilla picking his nose. The elder diarist found this strangely personal and it also fair took the glow off his roll on sausage.
Celeb spotting on Centre Court. Heid bummers Sir Alex Ferguson, Alex Salmond, David Cameron, Boris Johnson, and Pippa Middleton. Apparently someone called Nick Clegg was there also, whatever it is that he does. In fact, Clegg wasn't sitting in the Royal Box. He was on the fence.
The Herald has its designated seat on centre court. Lesser known papers such as the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and others have to queue for a ballot when there is high demand. They strengthen their case for entry into the greatest arena in tennis by stating their circulations. The Wall Street Journal states simply: two million. The elder diarist attempting to obtain entry for his lovely assistant scrawled "The Herald: a trillion". Then, remembering school days, hurried back to amend it to: "The Herald; a trillion and one." It made all the difference.
The elder diarist does not tweet, though he sometimes emits strange keening noises. But he was interested when LeBron James of the Miami Heat tweeted Andy Murray his best wishes. The diarist would be more interested if he knew what the previous sentence meant.
Rummage note: confiscated coming into the All England Club. A Scot trying to smuggle in the stone of destiny. You could say that he was sent home tae think again.