We once wrote a deliberately provocative article arguing that Formula One should be banned because of the harm it does to the environment. After a couple of autosport websites picked up on it, our inbox was flooded by angry, illiterate petrolheads from all over the world. Well now, the Sports Diary stands in triumph, because the powers that be in F1 have taken heed and plan to transform the "sport" into something more environmentally friendly than a recycled windfarm staffed entirely by whales. Yesterday's Japanese Grand Prix saw the amazing new scheme unveiled to the world: yes, the cars had green stripes painted on the tyres. Wow. That stunning technological development should make up for the hundreds of gallons of fuel burnt, thousands of miles flown by teams, etc, etc.MOST footballers are superstitious, although harnessing the power of other-worldly spirits and magic in order to win football matches is taken to great lengths in Africa. Unfortunately for Zimbabwean side Midland Portland Cement, their latest plan backfired.

We once wrote a deliberately provocative article arguing that Formula One should be banned because of the harm it does to the environment. After a couple of autosport websites picked up on it, our inbox was flooded by angry, illiterate petrolheads from all over the world. Well now, the Sports Diary stands in triumph, because the powers that be in F1 have taken heed and plan to transform the "sport" into something more environmentally friendly than a recycled windfarm staffed entirely by whales. Yesterday's Japanese Grand Prix saw the amazing new scheme unveiled to the world: yes, the cars had green stripes painted on the tyres. Wow. That stunning technological development should make up for the hundreds of gallons of fuel burnt, thousands of miles flown by teams, etc, etc.

MOST footballers are superstitious, although harnessing the power of other-worldly spirits and magic in order to win football matches is taken to great lengths in Africa. Unfortunately for Zimbabwean side Midland Portland Cement, their latest plan backfired.

Sixteen players were told to swim part of the Zambezi to cleanse themselves of bad spirits. Fifteen came back. Supernatural forces? Probably not: "The area where the team was swimming is prohibited as the current is strong. The river is also infested with crocodiles and hippos," said the local police commander.

THE credit crunch is hitting us all hard. Except Scotland manager George Burley, who has bought a Victorian mansion in Edinburgh's Grange neighbourhood for over £2m. Property developer Ron Tremmel, whose firm restored and sold it, explained: "Generally speaking The Grange is bucking the current trend and continuing to sell easily. In the past four months we have sold three properties for £3m each." Which is nice.

JOSE Canseco is a baseball player who likes steroids. He admits he took steroids. He claims 85% of pro baseball players take steroids. He wrote a book called "Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant Roids, Smash Hits and How Baseball Got Big" about steroids.

He was allegedly detained at the Mexican border last week for smuggling marmosets into the US. Oh wait, apparently it was steroids, not marmosets. How did they possibly suspect him?

Actually, to be accurate, the drug he was allegedly caught with was human chorionic gonadotropin, not actually a steroid but commonly used with them . . . to restore one's shrunken testicles to normal size.

PERUVIAN football sounds like fun, if you're a fan of brawling. Angry fans of the splendidly named Sport Boys got on to the pitch and tried to batter their own goalkeeper after he let in a late equaliser. The Sports Diary searched YouTube for "Sport Boys" to try to see footage. We wouldn't recommend it. Unless you like that sort of thing, which is fine of course.