AJAX can have the ball.
Celtic's Champions League hopes are hanging by a thread after they slumped to the bottom of Group H with a 1-0 defeat by Ajax at the Amsterdam Arena.
KRIS DOOLAN could count on one hand how many goals he has scored this season.
STUART ARMSTRONG was still in nappies the last time Dundee United won at Celtic Park and if they keep spurning opportunities like this he may be in his dotage by the time they do it again.
FAMOUS footballers tend to have a reputation for behaving like brats whose values have been distorted by years of having money hosed at them.