WE have been working out of the Granada office this week. That's Granada as in the historic Andalusian city, not Granada as in the TV company that makes Coronation Street.

The sad news is that the Alhambra is lagging behind in voting for the New Seven Wonders of the World - it's not even in the top 10. The Alhambra is Granada's moorish palace named, of course, after the famous Glasgow theatre.

Those with fond memories of Stanley Baxter and Rikki Fulton in the Five Past Eight Show at the Glasgow Alhambra, now sadly demolished, will want to log on to new7wonders.com and vote to secure inclusion of our Spanish namesake.

The original seven wonders were chosen, as you know, by Antipater of Sidon for a travel show special on Channel 4 Athens in 200BC. You may remember the controversy over the Colossus of Rhodes being included, even though it had fallen down 50 years before.

Now, only one of the seven, the Great Pyramid at Giza in Egypt, remains. Hence the decision to update the seven wonders to structures which are actually still standing.

The New Seven Wonders is not an official project by some body such as Unesco. It is a private enterprise initiative by a Swiss "adventurer" called Bernard Weber. T-shirts and other merchandise are involved. There is a song of Eurovision nul-points standard. People are urged to buy tours online to the 21 candidate locations. Fear not, half of the profits from the commercial ventures will go to heritage conservation projects.

There are 54 voting days before the awards ceremony in Lisbon on July 7, or 07/07/07. I will be voting for the Alhambra, with its tranquil gardens and sunlit drawing rooms. Even if the reds and blues and yellows of the frescoes are faded and could do with a coat or two of emulsion.

Among the other nominated places, I have a soft spot for the Sydney Opera House, and not just because it was named after Scotland's foremost singer after his record Tiny Bubbles went platinum. I managed to skip in to the iconic building one evening and have a champagne cocktail on a terrace overlooking Sydney harbour, without having to go to the opera.

The Eiffel Tower does nothing for me. As a callow youth visiting Paris, I would compete with fellow callow youths as to how long we could be in the city without catching sight of the landmark.

Stonehenge left me with no feeling of magic or mystery, possibly because I am not of the druid tendency or, more likely, because the place was full of bloody tourists.

I feel some empathy for the Taj Mahal, in remembrance of many a fine curry when it was in Park Road, Glasgow. Petra, the ancient Middle Eastern city, may strike a chord with Blue Peter viewers of yesteryear. Timbuktu will no doubt get the votes of many Celtic fans.

Unaccountably, there is no room on the short leet for the Falkirk Wheel nor even for the Scottish parliament building. The latter really is a wonder. I have heard many folk say: "I wonder, how they managed to spend £415 million on that place."

THE eighth wonder of the world is to be found in Granada. It is Manolo's bar in Plaza Gracia. Manolo adheres firmly to the local tradition of supplying free tapas with each drink purchased.

A baked potato with aioli accompanied my beer. A plate of mushrooms with a glass of white wine. A dish of fish with the red.

Even my bottle of fizzy water came with a tapas of serrano ham. And all for under a fiver. Scottish bars and restaurants, please copy.

A German chap had a very short driving test last week. The examiner said to him something along the lines of: "Go straight on. Turn left, right, straight on and just pull up at that police station."

The examiner had spotted that the learner was driving erratically and was more than slightly inebriated. Police established later that the driver was more than three times over the permitted alcohol limit. He was arrested and will not be resitting his test for some time.

There is a lesson to be learnt here. If you're a wee bit nervous before your driving test, do not resort to strong drink. I should not mock. My record in the matter of passing the driving test is flawed; I failed three times. For the first test, I was in Manchester and the test was in Glasgow. Hint: try to be in the same city as your driving examiner.

On the second occasion, I was in the right city but not allowed to take the test because I had failed to take along my driving licence. Hint: take along the correct documentation.

On my third attempt, I was allowed into the motor but failed for being too good and confident. Or a cocky little sod who would be a danger on the road, as the examiner said between the lines.

The confidence was due to all the lessons and practice I got between tests. One of my mentors was the late and sadly missed Peter Hastie whose driving tips were liberally laced with quotes from Shakespeare. Peter was a telephone engineer way back then but later put his literary skills to use as an English teacher. As I hesitated at a junction, Peter would say: "Stand not upon the order of your going, but go at once ... "

My potential for failure at driving tests was inherited. My father took up motorbiking late in life. It wasn't a male menopause thing, buying a superbike to compensate for lost youth. There's nothing quite so sad as an old fella who has bought a Harley Davidson but can't remember where he parked it. But I digress.

My old man had a new lease of life in his mid-50s and bought himself a Honda 75cc to get about. Shields pere sat his motorbike test in Shawlands, Glasgow. He had to do an emergency stop which involved the examiner sending the examinee off round a prescribed circuit.

Father turned left instead of right and spent 15 minutes circling the wrong streets. The examiner waited, increasingly impatiently, for a Honda 75cc to jump in front of. One eventually arrived and he leapt out. The surprised biker (not father who was still circling the wrong block) gave the examiner dog's abuse. The abuse was passed on with interest, along with a fail slip, when examiner and examinee were finally reunited.

CHEF Gordon Ramsay has fallen foul of pressure groups after suggesting that the British public might enjoy a slice or two of horse for tea. Ramsay says the equine flesh is lean, slightly gamey, full of protein, and much healthier than most of the bits of beasts we normally consume.

The International League for the Protection of Horses said it is irresponsible of Ramsay to "promote eating horse meat while failing to inform viewers about the appalling abuses of animals in the industry". The Vegetarian Society said: "Most people will find the idea of eating horse abhorrent."

I agree with Ramsay. I have sampled horse in Spain. The best cuts of dobbin are much tastier than the bovine variety, which is probably why they can be almost twice the price.

When I tire of feeding rabbit in the guise of chicken to the culinarily unadventurous, I occasionally slip a bit of horse on to the barbie. Unsuspecting ones eat it neigh bother. Even kids from a stables environment will enjoy a ponyburger with coltslaw as a mane course.