After fixing the ever-expanding globalisation of football, stamping out corruption and introducing video technology, UEFA have now turned their hand to childhood obesity.

After fixing the ever-expanding globalisation of football, stamping out corruption and introducing video technology, UEFA have now turned their hand to childhood obesity. They have joined forces with the European Commission and the World Heart Federation to launch the Eat for Goals! children's cookbook, in which 13 top footballers give recipes for their favourite healthy dishes.

While most of the stars' recipes involve pasta, some such as Ruud van Nistelrooy (salmon grilled with cloves) and Steve Gerrard (aromatic sea bream) pull out all the stops. Barry Ferguson, on the other hand, keeps it simple. The Rangers player, who recently admitted to Gordon Ramsay on The F Word that cooking isn't exactly top of his priorities at home, shows the kids how to "make" fruit salad. Recipe: "Mix ingredients and enjoy!! Cooking time: 0 mins".

Still, suppose we should be thankful it didn't involve Monster Munch.

CONTINUING with unlikely second careers for footballers, news reaches The Diary that David Beckham is going to become a children's author.

His soon-to-be-launched series of fictional children's books are to be set at David Beckham football academies in London and LA and will detail the lives of a fictional "group of plucky youngsters" training there.

"David is particularly pleased that The Academy has inspired a series of books that will bring children to reading through football," said a spokesperson, who confirmed that Beckham won't be writing them himself.

The books will have a recommended reading age of seven (note to subs: insert joke about Romeo reading them for his da here).

NEWS from our Japan correspondent about a virulent strain of herpes affecting sumo wrestlers. With the magnificent scientific name of Herpes gladiatorum, and the equally magnificent non-scientific name of scrumpox, it covers the skin in painful, virus-filled blisters on the face and neck and is transferred by grappling. And you thought morbidly obese men wearing nappies couldn't look less attractive.

THIS week's tale of NFL misbehaviour is brought to you by former Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry, arrested for an alleged "multi-kilogram" cocaine deal. Henry has fathered nine children by nine women, so no wonder he might need a little pick-me-up now and then.

QUOTE of the week: "Thank you." - Mirror sports journalist Simon Bird's response as Joe Kinnear begins a splendidly foul-mouthed 13-minute tirade by telling him, "You're a ****".