Gloria Hunniford has �fantastic� memories of doing Strictly Come Dancing in 2005. �It was absolutely sensational,� she says. �It gave me an excuse to laugh, smile and have fun. I lost a stone in five weeks. It really was a joyful thing to do.�

Gloria Hunniford has "fantastic" memories of doing Strictly Come Dancing in 2005. "It was absolutely sensational," she says. "It gave me an excuse to laugh, smile and have fun. I lost a stone in five weeks. It really was a joyful thing to do."

Hunniford had hesitated before agreeing to it. It was only 18 months after she had lost her daughter Caron Keating, who had died of cancer after being ill for seven years. Doing the show did not remove that ever-present sense of loss. But, Hunniford says, it "got me moving again".

Following the publication of her book Next to You, written after Caron's death, Hunniford received 8000 letters, many from people who had experienced the loss of a loved one. It was, she says, in the shared experience of these strangers that she found help. From their words of advice, she built up what she calls "my toolbox". "There's hardly a day goes by that I don't think about one of the pieces of advice at some point," she says. In her latest book, Always with You, published last month, she shares these insights.

Like many other people coping with bereavement, Hunniford, now 68, found the impact was physical as well as emotional and mental. "At the very beginning, your body just wants to lie down and the strength seems to have been taken out of your legs," she says. "Your head feels like it's in a block of ice that will never thaw."

When it came to her own health, she found herself "switching off" to some extent and, for a while, did not have her usual routine tests and check-ups. But by being able to share her feelings of loss with her husband (she did not have formal therapy), she found the colour coming back into her life. Now she feels "much better" - and, while she has always lived life in the present, a day at a time, she can face the future with equanimity.

While the mental and emotional stresses of loss are well documented, the physical impacts are less recognised. But a review of different research papers on the subject, published in The Lancet last year, found there was evidence of an increased risk of physical, as well as mental, detriments for some people.

The authors, from the University of Utrecht in the Netherlands, found that bereavement is associated with a general risk of developing minor health problems, such as headaches, dizziness, indigestion and chest pain, within the initial weeks and months. In fact, according to one American study published in the Journal of Gerontology, older bereaved spouses are 40 times more likely than a non-bereaved person to suffer illness two months after their loss.

The risk of more serious illnesses such as heart disease is only slightly increased. Other physical symptoms of bereavement can include weight loss, sleeplessness, weakness, general aching and a heightened vulnerability to infections.

Stuart Buckley knows how that feels. For months after Julia, his wife, died, he felt a "horrendous" emotional pain. On a daily basis, the 57-year-old bus driver struggled with feelings that swung between extreme grief, loneliness, anger and hurt. But while Buckley, who was widowed in December, says the mental difficulties have now begun to ease, "in part thanks to counselling", he is still coping with "unexpected and frustrating physical ailments".

"I felt every kind of desperate emotion. Far worse than I could have ever thought. But there was an added difficulty in that I also felt physically debilitated. Before Julia died, I would have described myself as fairly fit, rarely having even a cold. But for much of this year I've felt quite unwell. I am almost constantly fatigued and I have aching limbs, especially my legs. I've also had colds that have been hard to fight off."

According to John Birrell, a bereavement counsellor and director of the charity Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland, while emotional distress is viewed as an "expected and entirely natural symptom" post-bereavement, problems with physical ill-health are often unexpected. "Bereavement is a highly stressful and life-changing event," he says. "It causes huge emotional upheaval, but it is also clear that for some people these stresses can lead to physical ill-health."

The negative effects of stress have been widely documented. Dr Chris Steele, who is featured on ITV's This Morning, explains: "It's believed that stress causes a reduction in the immune response. Stress also causes anxiety and tension, which can produce headaches, worsening of any painful conditions, rapid pulse, palpitations and increased blood pressure."

Craig White, professor of psychological therapies at the University of the West of Scotland, is more cautious about the links between the general stress of bereavement and physical illness. "For some people, prolonged periods of stress will result in greater vulnerability to infections as a result of reduced immune functioning, and there have been preliminary reports of changes in immune functioning in the immediate aftermath of a bereavement. But more research is needed."

He believes physical ill-health at a time of bereavement may be better explained by other, secondary consequences - such as not attending one's health and wellbeing.

John Birrell confirms that, in his experience, it is common in the early stages of loss for grievers to take less care of themselves, perhaps eating poorly and taking reduced exercise. Some people may start to drink more alcohol.

"These changes can be most significant if the bereaved person was the one who was looked after' by their now deceased spouse. The bereaved person finds themself suddenly in charge of cooking their own meals, seeing to domestic duties and making decisions on their health."

Stuart Buckley, who has two grown-up sons, admits he did not pay enough attention to his physical wellbeing in the earlier stages of bereavement. "When Julia died, as well as the stresses of coping with my grief, I was suddenly in charge of doing all these things around the house, such as cleaning, cooking and paying bills." He lost his appetite, and his diet suffered. "For a while I was only eating cheese on toast in the evening, and I've lost about two stone."

While evidence suggests many grievers seek help and advice about the mental difficulties associated with bereavement, for example through helplines and counselling groups, significantly fewer are reported to ask for medical treatments for associated physical ailments.

"It hadn't really occurred to me to go to the doctor because it's just a general feeling of achiness that I have," says Stuart. "When I've had the colds, I've taken paracetamol or similar - but I don't think there is anything specific to ask about, really."

What he has had, to his great benefit, is one-to-one bereavement counselling with Cruse Scotland, which started within four months of losing his wife. He talks highly of the help received. "It was a relief to be able to talk to someone impartial about my feelings, and not to worry about expressing the pain and anger and distress.

"The counselling was a significant step towards being able to regain some kind of normality in my life again."

This, as far as Hunniford is concerned, is crucial. "It's essential to share, to talk to someone," she says, stressing that you shouldn't try to soldier on without showing emotion. She says the "black hole" left by Caron's loss remains with her, and always will, but she has found a way to live "around it and through it".

That sentiment is echoed by the actress Sheila Hancock. Hancock wrote The Two of Us, a memoir of her life with her late husband, the actor John Thaw, that also told of her grief at his loss, which left her listless and in a "torpor of misery". But her latest book, Just Me, tells of life since. "I do sometimes feel lonely - but increasingly, loneliness has become a valued solitude," she writes.

"On my own, I will laugh, cry a lot, be thrilled, be desolate, have fun and take risks." The past is the past, she says, and the future is limited. "But I am here now. Feeling good."

Always with You by Gloria Hunniford, Hodder & Stoughton, £18.99; Just Me, by Sheila Hancock, Bloomsbury, £18.99. Additional research by Rebecca McQuillan.


Helpful advice - but there's no right way to grieve
Grief is normal: it is part of what it is to be human, and we do emerge from it. Bereavement support groups such as Cruse Scotland can help.

  • There is no "right" way to grieve. Grief is personal - though advice can be helpful.
  • There are no short cuts. Grief takes time, often much longer than we think, and certainly longer than many people around us expect.
  • It's not just tough for you: other people can find it difficult to know what to say or do, but it's not because they don't care.
  • Grief can be lonely: bereavement can lead to depressing thoughts and even thoughts of suicide but it's OK to experience these thoughts.
  • It's good to talk. Many people find that talking to a good listener helps.

Ask for support from family, friends or a support group.

  • Look after yourself: you might not feel like eating properly and sleeping but your body still needs nutrition and rest.