Baywatch (15)

one star

Dir: Seth Gordon

With: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron

Runtime: 116 minutes

IMAGINE the worst thing that could wash up on a beach. Hose it down with ironic affection for a TV series from your youth, apply a couple of averagely likeable coves in the chiselled shapes of Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron, and pour on a container ship full of the finest perfumes from Arabia. Still smells like old socks from Davy Jones’s locker? Welcome to Baywatch 2017. For gross out humour, knuckleheaded script complete with a plot that would have shamed Scooby Doo, airheaded sexism and blistering lack of inventiveness, Seth Gordon’s Baywatch is to summer movies what the Titanic was to pleasurable cruising. Where is a shark when you need one?

My Life as a Courgette (PG)

four stars

Dir: Claude Barras

Voices: Ellen Page, Amy Sedaris

Runtime: 66 minutes

THIS is lovely. Tough going at times, but lovely. Claude Barras’s funkily-rendered, Oscar-nominated, stop-motion animation tells the story of a nine-year-old boy, the son of an alcoholic mother and absent father, who is sent to a children’s home. “Courgette”, as his mother nicknamed him, is frightened and lonely. What will become of him now? Written by Celine Sciamma (Girlhood), My Life avoids the cliches about children in care, and those who look after them, in favour of a story that does not shirk from bleakness as it inches towards the light. Screening in subtitled and dubbed versions.

GFT; Cameo, Edinburgh, June 2-8; for other Scottish venues visit