Bogging buy

SAVVY shopper David Donaldson spotted that Selfridges are selling a lamp in the form of a cat who is named Jobby. (David even sends us photographic evidence of the moggie Jobby of which he speaks.)

“The lamp is quite expensive,” notes David, “but much cheaper than the one I saw a few years back, from an upmarket Dutch studio, which had the light in its bum.”

He adds: “Both of Jobby's eyes light up, though it would be much improved if they were activated by a motion sensor.”

On the road

DRIVING with her eight-year-old daughter in the back of the car, reader Martha Maxwell informed the youngster, for educational purposes, that they were arriving at something called a fork in the road.

The little girl was not unduly impressed, and merely said: “Do you know if there’ll also be a spoon in the road?”

Fighting talk

THE Barbie and Oppenheimer blockbusters are being referred to by the composite title Barbenheimer, which has inspired the Diary to likewise fuse together classic films.

Roy Smith from Troon suggests an epic adventure where hotshot hombres from the Wild West take on the Nazis during World War II.

The movie would be called The Magnificent Seven Guns of Navarone.


CONVIVIAL Diary correspondent Howard Parr was in a pub a few years back and began chatting to a lady standing next to him at the bar.

“We got on to the subject of our roots,” says Howard. “I explained that my grandparents were from Leeds, and she said that she was almost Irish.”

Howard was a tad confused.

“Almost?” he said.

“Yeah,” said the lady. “See, my name is Iris.”

Bird-brained book

LITERATURE-LOVING John Milne is reading a thriller he came across in a second-hand shop. Titled A Running Duck, it was written by Paula Gosling.

“Considering the author’s surname,” says John, “Surely it would have been more appropriate to call the book A Running Goose.”

Woes for Wullie

WE mentioned that characters from the popular Dundee-based comic, The Beano, are being modernised. Reader Malcolm Downey would like to see another famous Dundonian getting a morbid makeover to reflect the reality of his present day situation.

“Oor Wullie has been around since the 1930s,” he points out, “which means he should no longer be sitting on the bucket – he should be kicking it.”

Boozy badinage  

“AFTER you’ve finished a barrel of beer,” points out linguistically-limber reader Jason Bell, “both you and the beer are drunk.”