Bibimbap

Glasgow

We’ve got a bit of a queue going on the waitress says, over the heads of the four people standing right in front of me. I see that, I think, as I scan this long, narrow room and detect absolutely no signs of anybody moving soon.

Could I eat here, I suggest pointing at the counter with stools running right in front of the giant mirror. Okay, she replies without much conviction.

So I hoist myself onto a high seat beside the bar and scan the menu. I have come in tonight because I took a sudden passing urge for a bibimbap, one of those Korean comfort pots with rice and meat and a fried egg on top but by the time my order is taken I will have somehow completely forgotten this.

Put it down to the weirdness of ordering from a person standing at my right shoulder while I am looking at them in a mirror. Yeah, I know my fault.

Put it down to the hustle and the bustle going on, folks squeezing by the back of my chair to get to the good seats, the door to the entrance hall swinging open and trays of food queuing up to make the same journey.

I see dishes of that Korean fried chicken that Korean restaurants are always going on about. Even though I have had it half a dozen times elsewhere and it’s never been anything but stunningly ordinary I decide I want some of it now.

And gimbap or ham roll, tuna roll or seaweed rice roll. “Is there any difference between this and sushi,” I ask.

“To you and me no real difference,” says the waiter. With this clear steer not-to-bother-ordering-it lodged firmly between my ears guess what, I order it. Ham please.

Yeah, there was something else I wanted, I’m thinking as I am drawn magnetically yet again to the yong kko chi (lamb skewers); dokbokki (fried fish cake) and yukgaejang (spicy beef soup).

No, they’re what the waitress told me they’ve run out of tonight. Kimchi man do (kimchi pork dumplings) then and a pajean (mixed seafood spring-onion pancake) – the nearest faintly interesting dishes geographically on the menu to what I think I really want.

I’ve always prided myself on my ordering skills and by that I mean being able to pick out the most interesting/best value/not screw-uppable dishes on any menu. But I have messed it up tonight.

I realise this a while later as bibimbap after bibimbap flies by me, as I scan what people are eating at other tables through the reflective wonders of my giant mirror and as a waiter briefly lands a tray with lots of fresh juicy savourness topped with fried eggs right beside me. Before whisking it off to someone else.

I do consider placing a late order but by now I have worked out that everyone who is in here probably walked in about five minutes before me and after a general delay food is now cluster-bombing a probably-under-huge-pressure kitchen somewhere below us. So I chill instead in this admittedly very pleasant and quite cool ambience while Shazaming that strange background music on my phone (Soichi Tereda – Music Love Tension), wondering how they got all those amazing brightly-coloured open umbrellas on the ceiling and whether a Korean movie poster – in Korean – is for the Karate Kid.

When my chicken finally arrives it is, frankly, not hot, in fact make that tepid and as it's just chicken wings in a plain crisp batter I still can’t get excited about it.

The waiter was right about the gimbap though, simply sushi with chunks of ham, strange but blandly pleasant.

As for this very large seafood pancake; sliced crossways, small prawns poking out, lots of spring onion? Exactly what it says on the tin, sorry, menu. That puts a lot of pressure on the kimchi pork dumplings. Big, baggy, a little wet, kinda bland.

My fault? Probably.

Bibimbap

3 West Nile Street

0141 221 6111

Menu: Those comforting rice dishes with a fried egg on top, and Korean fried chicken. It’s a Korean restaurant, after all. 3/5

Atmosphere: Possibly the best bit when full. Groovy Korean tunes, bright umbrellas, hustle and bustle. I liked it. 5/5

Service: On a busy Tuesday night it's fine. Pleasant staff though busy and bit distracted. 4/5

Price: Slap, bang city centre but still reasonably priced at £34.50 for the small plates and £9 for a full on bibimbap if you remember to order one. 5/5

Food: I should have ordered the bibimbap but I forgot and ordered instead some well prepared but rather dull dishes. 6/10

Total 23/30