A right blue do
THE efforts of the Tory Party in Scotland to win back the hearts and
minds of the people would appear to have got off to a slow start in the
up-and-coming elections for Strathclyde Regional Council.
Of the six sitting Tories (out of 103 cooncillors) only one is seeking
re-election to continue la lutte. He is Fergus Clarkson, who has only
been in the job for two years after winning the Arran, Largs, and West
Kilbride seat, and is still full of enthusiasm.
The other incumbents have handed in their electoral dinner pails for
reasons of age, infirmity, or other commitments. One feeling that is not
to the fore in Strathclyde Conservative politics is a burning desire to
be a regional cooncillor.
The decision by Malcolm Rifkind and Michael Forsyth to reduce
allowances and make the post of regional cooncillor even less
financially tolerable than it is at present is also a factor.
There is a marked reluctance among high-flying Tory potential
parliamentarians to become candidates for local elections. So, if you
really want to be a Conservative candidate for Strathclyde Region in
May, apply now. You might find the selection process not too difficult.
Silent speech
ALSO on the Conservative candidate selection front, an interesting
situation has arisen with the death of Ulster Unionist MP, Harold
McCusker. Now that Scottish Tories have approved and, indeed, encouraged
involvement by Conservatives in Ulster politics we have the prospect of
a Scot standing in Mr McCusker's seat.
Thus, we hear that a vice-chairman of the Scottish Conservative party
was approached to give a ruling on whether the vacancy in Upper Bann
could be advertised in Scotland. ''Certainly, as long as Sir Albert
McQuarrie and David Myles don't mind,'' came the reply.
There was a moment's silence before it was explained to the top Tory
that Upper Bann is in Northern Ireland and nowhere, at all, at all, near
Banff.
Last word on Tamson
THE final, absolutely definitive, word on who was Jock Tamson of the
Bairns fame, comes from two English newspapers. First the Sunday
Express, describing the Glasgow 1990 show at the Tramway: ''Bairns, Jock
Tamson's celebration of the works of Robert Burns . . .''
The Sunday Times also has information previously denied to the rest of
us. In its TV listings we read on Sunday: ''The South Bank Show. Hilary
Chadwick's film follows the development of a Scottish theatre piece
entitled Bairns from first readings to dress rehearsal. Written by Jock
Tamson, the play takes apart the cliche of the drunken Scotsman.''
PS -- While we're on about this theatre piece, just how many people
have exercised their right (and their sore legs) and walked out? And who
made the loudest exit?
What Nelson said
WE now have the absolutely, positively definitive version of what
Nelson Mandela said when he got out of the jail: ''Look, ah've got a
ten-bob note in ma pocket and ah'm off tae the pub for a right few
haufs.''
Or perhaps he said: ''Did Killie really win the league in 1965?''
Paralysis in the galluses
WE would also like to kill off the gallus controversy with this
version from the ubiquitous vicar, Bill Shackleton of Greenock: ''Gallus
is the singular of galluses. It is an old Glasgow word found in the
streetname Gallusgate. As everyone knows, condemned prisoners were led
along that thoroughfare to be hanged by the galluses until they were
able to get in touch with Beltrami. The public enjoyed these events and
the word carried over into the theatre where the expression 'Don't
Gall-us, we'll Gall-you is still used.''
A sack to bear
THE war of words surrounding the long running Aberdeen Journals
dispute continues unabated. Last week the National Union of Journalists
announced the results of a survey of popular opinion on the dispute
which saw more than 100 journalists sacked. At the same time the union
launched a free newspaper which highlighted the stories it maintains the
Press and Journal and Aberdeen Evening Express have missed since the
dispute began nearly five months ago.
The management responded in kind. Last week the Press and Journal
brought out a promotional leaflet aimed at the north and west. This
advised readers: ''If you want to know what's happening in Inverness and
the Highlands, you need the Press and Journal six days a week.''
On the back of the leaflet is a coupon box for home deliveries of the
paper. This is highlighted by a photograph of a newspaper boy delivering
the paper which you apparently need if you want to know what's happening
in Inverness and the Highlands.
This photograph has confused a lot of people who thought they knew
what was happening in Inverness and the Highlands. The boy in question
bears a quite remarkable resemblance to one of Inverness Caledonian's
footballers Mark McAllister who a few years ago used to deliver papers.
Mark McAllister is the son of the former Inverness-based Highland
Editor of the Press and Journal, Bill McAllister who, as everyone in
Inverness knows, was sacked by the Press and Journal management a few
months ago for refusing to cross the picket line outside the P&J's
Inverness Office.
Firm response
WE can now say with confidence that the groundwork for the Lobey
Dosser statue will be done.
Readers of this column over the past few weeks will not have missed
the fact that we are trying to raise #10,000 to enable artist Calum
MacKenzie to create the world's first equestrian statue as a memorial to
Bud Neill, the Scottish cartoonist. Neill was the creator of, among many
other characters, Lobey Dosser, the Calton cowboy and Elfie, his
faithful two-legged horse.
We have had a tremendous response from the public with #2, #5, and
bigger donations coming in -- more than #700 worth so far. Now we have
had the first weigh-in from business.
Hewcon, the contracts division of Hewden Stuart, has offered to carry
out site preparation work, build Elfie's plinth, and provide transport,
forklift truck and crane services that will be needed. This offer of
goods in kind is worth at least #2000, which brings the fund, at a
stroke, to #2700.
It also means that the target becomes more achievable, since we
''only'' need #8000 from the generous public; the widows and their
mites, and those who want to donate but who mite forget.
We are delighted by this offer from Peter Smith, the boss of Hewcon,
particularly since they are a Glasgow-based firm. Although, like all
good Glaswegian enterprises most of Hewden Stuart's business is done
furth of these parts. Very Glasgow, very mercantile.
Mr Smith feels that the Lobey Dosser statue is a perfect contribution
to Glasgow culture in 1990 and we cannot find it in our hearts to
disagree with him.
Mites and mightier donations equally welcomed at:
The Lobey Dosser Statue Fund,
Herald Diary,
195 Albion Street,
Glasgow, G1 1QP.
Every donation is deposited and recorded at the Glasgow head office of
the Clydesdale Bank, whose chief executive Richard Cole-Hamilton is
treasurer of the fund.
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