HAMISH Fyfe, the Glasgow convenor, is upset about reports that Scotland hooker Kevin McKenzie may be drafted in to play for Glasgow in their European Conference match against Newport on Saturday.

McKenzie, due to make a comeback this weekend after Achilles tendon surgery, has pledged allegiance to Caledonia Reds but could be given stiffer opposition if asked to play for Glasgow.

``Gordon Bulloch is our hooker, our captain, and our best player,'' says Fyfe. ``I do not want this to happen.''

Neither do I. Bulloch has a chance of playing for Scotland, there are other hookers playing in other teams who never will, and if McKenzie is to be drafted, then he should play for one of those teams.

q.LINE of the week in Clermont Ferrand came from Cammy Little, whose Glasgow accent came in more than handy for word play.

Fergus Wallace, Glasgow's wing forward, was sitting on the floor of Orly airport reading a book when approached by Little.

``I see you're sitting on what we all hope to see during the game this weekend.'' said Little.``What are you talking about?'' asked a tired Wallace. ``It's that world famous French flerr.......'' said Little.

q.WE can exclusively reveal that a rather small newspaper in the East of Scotland cannot tell the difference between various pieces of fine art as applied in a rugby sense.

We were in Clermont Ferrand on Saturday evening to watch Glasgow take on our French friends, and we rather enjoyed it. Sadly, one of the great stars of the occasion, French captain Phillippe Saint Andre, was unable to appear because of injury. Instead, hi

s brother, Raphael, played on the right wing.

Imagine the Diary's shock, then, to discover that this little East coast paper, in prosaic prose, told us on Monday morning how Phillippe Saint Andre had strutted around the pitch like a famous French cockerel, preferring to pout like Mick Jagger instead

of dotting down the tries.

A truly remarkable feat from Phillippe, as he was sitting in the stand in front of the Glasgow committee for the whole game.

Tragic, really, not having the ability to differentiate between great works of art and spot a Raphael from a Phillippe.

q.MANY of you will know the great man of Old Anniesland, Jimmy Currie, now the Glasgow team's more-than-capable baggage master has been nick named ``Jack le Sack.''

However, nothing prepared him for the assault his eyes had to withstand last week as the Glasgow squad trained at West of Scotland.

``There I was,'' said Jimmy, ``walking along the corridor when two gorgeous ladies walked out in front of me. It was the West of Scotland women's rugby team training night.

``Well,'' said Currie, averting his eyes as if in wistful memory. ``Well, they were absolutely naked.''

``Good lord,'' we said. ``What on earth did you say?''

``I said `Steady the buffs.'.'' said Currie. The lagers were on him.

q.THE Diary has a retraction. In an edition last week we said, quite categorically, that the first transfer fee to be paid in Scotland was by Heriots' to West Hartlepool for Derrick Patterson.

Not true. A certain Mark Crossley has, on several occasions, left Falkirk for Grangemouth only to go back to Falkirk, but he has now elected to stay at Grangemouth having played for them. Sadly, he was ineligible so to do, but Gregor Nicholson at the SRU

agreed to reprimand Grangemouth but let the transfer continue if Falkirk would sign the relevant papers.

Falkirk, it is alleged, held a committee meeting to sign the documentation, but came back to Grangemouth with a request: Falkirk said that their neighbours could keep Crossley but only if they received what they were due from their former player.

And what, you ask, were they due? Falkirk said that Crossley could stay at Grangemouth, but only if he gave his rugby shorts back. We think he was sold cheaply.

q.SPONSORS of the Glasgow rugby side are legal eagles Dundas and Wilson, and one of their chaps, Graham Scott, won the firm's internal raffle to accompany the side to France.

And so Gordon Ash, or Ash the Cash, who is in charge of Glasgow's finances, was up at the bar buying a round.

``I hope you don't think that all of your sponsorship money goes on drinks,'' said Ash to Mr Scott. ``And why not?'' asked the man from Dundas and Wilson. These blokes have class.

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