MUCH gnashing of teeth this week over the proposed boundary changes. One of the biggest losers is Scottish Labour’s answer to Robinson Crusoe, Ian Murray, whose Edinburgh South island sanctuary is split in two. He now faces a 2020 fight against a sitting SNP MP. So watch out Joanna Cherry QC in Edinburgh South West, as the seat includes the Hearts FC ground. Mr Murray is not just a massive jambo, he’s a non-executive director of the club. Handy.

ONE surprise from the review was the resurrection of a name from the dank depths of Labour history. Coatbridge, Chryston & Bellshill is to be renamed Monklands West. Back in the day, Monklands was synonymous with Labour intrigue, but is now best known for SNP infighting, with one Nat faction dubbed the Monklands McMafia. As our Lanarkshire mole puts it, “Monklands West has a certain ring to it. But they should really call it Little Sicily.”

SO farewell then Adam Clarke, the Scottish LibDem spindoctor who left Holyrood this week to work for the Russell Group of universities (Motto: More fees please). The hacks bought him some beers. Because frankly nothing could match his going away present from colleagues in a previous job - a bespoke onesie featuring the giant face of MP Alistair Carmichael. Classy.

Unspun hears that wasn’t the only item of intimate apparel that earned ‘Clarkey Cat’ his slinky feline nickname. One mate vividly remembers being in a conference hotel room a few years ago when Mr Clarke materialised in just a pair of skin-tight Union Jack undies. He then pointed at the jumbled contents and declared “Better together!” The poor chap tells Unspun he remains traumatised to this day. “It was as if they were painted on,” he recalls with a shudder.

THE new Commons register of interests gives a fascinating insight into the parliamentary pecking order. Three MPs declare a night’s hospitality at Gleneagles on 8 September: speaker John Bercow, ex-FM Alex Salmond and his SNP pal Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh. Mr Speaker’s freebie for himself and a staffer came to £2815, for Mr Salmond and his missus £1495, and for Ms Ahmed-Sheikh and guest a footling £715. Oh the shame of such cheap digs.

SCOTTISH Labour pulled off quite a coup by persuading Nicola Sturgeon’s poverty tsar Naomi Eisenstadt to attend its “cross-party” summit on inequality. Deputy leader Alex Rowley urged parties to put tribal differences aside and unite to tackle the issue. Alas, this is Holyrood we’re talking about. Most unchuffed with Ms Eisenstadt’s moonlighting, the SNP snubbed the event, as did the Tories and LibDems, while the Greens sent only a lowly staffer.

WHENEVER the Nats come under attack from Labour, they rush to bring up Labour’s shambolic running of Wales. So what bonkers new policies did Welsh Labour unveil in their budget this week? Extra cash for the NHS, 30 hours of free childcare a week, council cuts and, erm, a fund to boost attainment in schools ie the full SNP bhuna. What an outrage!