FORMER rugby star Doddie Weir, whose autobiography My Name'5 Doddie is now a bestseller, was speaking in Galashiels about the book which details his career and coping with Motor Neurone Disease. Doddie, who helps on the family farm nearby, took questions from the audience at the event, and after the first two questions about Borders rugby rivalry and playing for the Lions, he then realised how special the Borders can be. The third question was from a local who asked: "Why did you no' buy any sheep from me this year?"

Doddie will be signing copies of his book in Waterstones in Edinburgh's west end on Monday when he will no doubt be happy to answer questions on rugby, illness and sheep purchasing strategy.

Say that again

AMAZING how you can find out on your computer where your packages are. Says reader Neil: "Whilst tracking a parcel delivery online, I noted that it had been delivered to Cemring. Having no recognition of the name, I started to wonder who had received the parcel. Rather surprised to find out it was delivered to my neighbour Cameron. It dawned on me who Cemring was when you say Cameron in his New Zealand accent."

Hand it to him

GROWING old continued. Says a reader: "I'm now at an age that when you use one of those strong hand-dryers in a public toilet, it looks like a mini tsunami on the back of your hand."

Being penalised

ARE you watching the European football on the telly this week? Manchester City beat Shakhtar Donetsk 6-0 but a big talking point was City being given an erroneous penalty when Raheem Sterling fell over when he stubbed his toe in the grass. As a reader phones to tells us: "Haven’t seen Sterling fall like that since Brexit."

Island life

THE Herald story about a row over Harris Tweed carrying a Union flag label reminds us of a Herald story years ago about one of the Harris Tweed weavers on the island of Scalpay bringing out a range of teddy bears made with off-cuts of tweed. When The Herald asked her how she came up with the idea she replied: "There is nothing much you can do on Scalpay."

Toilet humour

WHO knew there were so many gags about urinals? Readers are still flushing them out with Joe Knox telling us: "Two slaters were working on a chapel roof when one accidentally dropped a hammer through a skylight. His pal told him to go and find out what had happened. He did so and on his return reported that the priest had told him the hammer had smashed a urinal. After some thought his pal asked what a urinal was and he replied, 'Don't ask me, am no' a Catholic'."

Sums it up

TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from a reader who emails: "I was driving around an industrial estate in my Range Rover when I saw a sign on the roundabout advertising a '4x4 specialist' so I pulled in. Apparently, the answer's 16."


AND a colleague comes over to give me his words of advice, whether I wanted them or not. He told me: "You can use your column to tell people who think they are being trendy – wearing a Hawaii Surf Club T-shirt is a cool way of telling everyone you've neither been to the exotic island nor surfed."