“RESIGN!” The word zipped around the Commons chamber like a ricocheting bullet as the dodging PM confirmed what by then we all knew: the Grand Old Duchess of York was pulling the meaningful vote on Brexit.

Only minutes before the official confirmation of the postponement, No 10 had continued to insist that the vote on the beleaguered Brexit deal would, of course, no question, absolutely, go ahead and, indeed, Mrs M was confident of winning it.

Yet even Larry, the Downing St cat, knew a massive humiliation awaited the Tory leader if she pressed the deal to a vote; a humiliation made in her own party.

After a quick conference chat with her Cabinet chums, the PM realised the game was up; she didn’t have enough backing and so backed down. On the Richter Scale of humiliation, this was deemed the least worst option.

The House was packed, unusual for a Monday, and the barbed questions kept coming and coming and coming – for almost three hours.

At times, every point Mrs May made was greeted with baying and barracking from the Labour benches. Her opponents, on both sides of the House, lined up to try to outdo each other on how harshly they could put down the PM. The ritual humiliation felt at times, observed from behind the Commons sofa, akin to I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!

Jezza led the assault, declaring that the Government was now in “complete disarray”. The Lib Dems’ champion Sir Vince Cable denounced the Tory “fiasco,” saying the Government had “really lost all authority”. The SNP’s Kirsty Blackman accused the PM of a “stunning display of pathetic cowardice”.

Tory Brexit rebel Andrew Bridgen aimed his political pot-shot, telling his party leader she had “lost the trust and credibility of the House, lost the trust and credibility of the country and most importantly she's lost the trust and credibility of the European Union as well".

Labour’s Yvette Cooper asked the beleaguered PM: "Does she not realise how chaotic and ridiculous this makes our country look?”

Labour veteran Dennis Skinner rose to launch his barb, which, in years gone by, would have been excoriating, but by comparison to some of his parliamentary colleagues, was somewhat tame, merely accusing Maggie May of being “frit” albeit in capital letters.

It was perhaps his Labour colleague, Angela Eagle, who won the prize for the most colourful putdown when she accused the PM of a “farrago of chaos”.

But the PM got a solitary offering of sympathy from the Tory grande dame Cheryl Gillian, who rose to praise the head girl for her “great courage”.

At times, there was an element of pantomime to the parliamentary fusillade. Mrs M, during her opening remarks, suggested MPs had to ask themselves a “fundamental question,” which was: do they want to deliver Brexit? Not surprisingly, a chorus of Labour and SNP MPs sang out: “No!”

Later, Remainer Tory Anna Soubry insisted the view of the British people was changing on Brexit, to which many MPs intervened to say: “No, it’s not!” The Nottinghamshire MP then said that she knew it was the pantomime season, stressing: “Oh, yes it has!” Needless to say, many in the chamber shouted back: “Oh no, it hasn’t!”

After almost three hours of being battered and bruised from one end of the chamber to the other, the PM left the battlefield for the relative calm of Downing St and a calming G&T with Philip.

The Duchess of Downing St now faces the happy prospect of traversing Europe seeking comfort from the likes of Juncker and Tusk. The season of goodwill to all men and women looks a terribly long way off. Christmas 20XX perhaps?