Driving a bargain

OUR attention is drawn to the venerable Italian newspaper La Stampa which was writing about Glasgow, and thanks to Google Translate we enjoyed the bit about the Italian reporter arriving at Central Station and calling an Uber taxi. The driver told him that he had been an airport driver for 20 years, but had been told by a pal in New York about this new thing called Uber. He feared that it would ruin the taxi trade so he sold his taxi licence just before Uber arrived here. When the Italian visitor asked who he had sold the licence to, he laughed and replied: "The brother-in-law."

Cat call

THE death of top Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld reminds us of when he took over Linlithgow Castle six years ago for a fashion show with tight security, tickets as rare as hen's teeth, and glamorous customers jetting in from around the world. We liked the fact that Linlithgow itself didn't get too caught up in the hype as the owner of a local shop, asked on the news what she thought about it, replied that she hoped, "it doesn't disrupt the Christmas shopping."

Incidentally Scots novelist Andrew O'Hagan once met Karl who, when he discovered Andrew was a writer, asked if he would like to ghost-write the autobiography of his cat. Sadly Andrew declined.

Car trouble

SAD news about Japanese car giant Honda planning to close its Swindon plant. A reader phones to ask us: "Did I really hear the local MP say the decision was not down to Brexit and that Honda were leaving 'by their own Accord'?"

Waxing lyrical

WHO can identify with Philippa Perry who reveals: "Rather disappointing evening. We thought we had some chocolate but it turned out to be a scented candle. It’s been taking up fridge space since Christmas too."

Coining it

CELTIC fans are quite rightly condemned for the coin which hit Kilmarnock player Kris Boyd at their recent game. But as John in Stonehaven reminisces: "I remember at Third Lanark's Cathkin Park that at half time it was quite usual for local nurses, Boys' Brigade etc to come round the track holding a blanket at each corner for a collection and the crowd were encouraged to throw their coins into the blanket.

"Coins that missed were picked up by the ball boys or fans at the front of the terracing and thrown in. I don’t remember anyone collapsing or even being injured by the flying coins. Maybe the old pennies, halfpennies or tanners weren’t as lethal as today’s decimal coinage."

Hard to swallow

OUR mention of the droll barman at Ross-shire's Badachro Inn years ago reminded Eric Arbuckle in Largs: "I am sure it was the same chap who, when delivering an order of two upmarket liqueurs, a single malt whisky, and a half pint of heavy, politely asked, 'Which one is the peasant?'"

Put a lid on it

WE discussed whether football fans were hard done by because of stringent stewarding and Jim Thomson in Bothwell tells us: "As Jags fans and bikers my teenage daughter and myself travelled to Ayr United’s Somerset Park. We were standing on the terracing with our crash helmets at our feet. A steward approached and said he had to take our helmets. I explained they were expensive items and bikers were rather precious towards their lids and asked why he had to take them. He replied that we might throw them."

Looking back

AS we try to make sense of Westminster politics, John Henderson asks: "A Labour breakaway because of the leader, and now Derek Hatton back in the party. Motor industry going down the tubes and an unpopular Tory woman PM in No.10. The Specials at number one in the charts. Is it just me, or is anyone else beginning to worry now about the Falklands?"