A weight off

TV quiz champion Paul Sinha, who appears on the show The Chase, was at Glasgow's Stand Comedy Club last night as he tries to expand his career to include stand-up comedy. When he arrived in Glasgow Paul explained: "My cab driver said, 'You look a bit like a slimmer version of the guy off The Chase'. That’s how you earn a tip."

Also in Glasgow recently was quiz presenter Richard Osman who is recording a new show at the BBC studios. As he told folk on social media: "Still in awe of the hen party I saw knocking back pints in Glasgow Airport at 6.45 this morning."

Questionable tactics

A GLASGOW reader swears he heard a young man in the pub tell his pals: "Was interviewed by the police, but just said, 'No comment.' to every question. Thinking back, that's probably why I didn't get the job."

John's racket

THE Speaker John Bercow is in the news for stating that he won't allow the Prime Minister's Brexit plans to come before Parliament again unless there are substantive changes. Mind you, we remember when John first stood for Parliament in Motherwell of all places – he was a tennis coach then which is a little bit hard to believe – and had printed on his election pamphlet, "Ravenscraig is now profitable and there is no question of it being closed'', so not sure how much to believe him this time.

Another fine mess

GREAT to see the news story about the Cairngorms snowboarder rescued after cuddling his pet labrador to keep warm. Our favourite labrador story was about the Bearsden chap out running who was desperate to go to the loo and jumped into a patch of woods to squat down. As he did so he was joined by an inquisitive labrador and, on hearing a woman shouting for her dog, he quickly jumped up and ran behind a tree to adjust his attire.

When he casually walked out, he saw the woman with a plastic bag in her hand approaching the mess he had made and scolding her dog: "What have you been eating?"

THOSE WERE THE DAYS - 1969: Final journey of No. 1571, the power station locomotive

Jarring

STAND-UP Frank Skinner is appearing in Edinburgh and Motherwell this November with his new show. Frank made his name on the telly appearing with fellow presenter David Baddiel who first saw Frank at the London Comedy Store where a heckler shouted out, 'Don't I remember you from medical school?' Frank shouted back, 'Yeah, you were the one in the jar' and David decided he thought he could work with Frank.

A wee change

A TABLOID newspaper claimed that NHS websites will be told to use "poo" instead of "stools" and "pee" instead of "urinate" as many folk did not understand what the words meant. Not everyone is happy with this dumbing down. As Tony Cowards says: "They’re also changing the term they use for testicles, which is bollocks."

Screen time

SOUTH side reader David Strang noticed that every one of the half-dozen folk waiting at his doctor's surgery were playing with their mobile phones. Says David: "In years gone by you would listen to all their symptoms, now you have to play a guessing game, working out what is wrong with them. I decided they were all suffering from loneliness."

Party game

TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from Andrew Chamings who says: "Make parties more interesting by telling strangers 'I want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here'."