Between the covers

WE pass on the conversation with former Rangers star Ally McCoist who was asked on a sports radio show if his five sons, including Argyll and Arran, were named after the places where they were conceived. Ally tried to deny it, but when the presenter asked about his son Mitchell, Ally played along by saying: "There's a Mitchell Library in Glasgow – but you have to be very quiet!"

And talking of radio, Tony Blair's former spin doctor Alastair Campbell remarked on social media about his radio show: "Terrific chat with born-again loud-voiced Ken from Irvine who interrupted my chat by telling me I was the Antichrist for saying ‘we don’t do God’. But later told me God and Jesus want a People's Vote on Brexit and he was praying for me every night."

Naming ceremony

A READER, rather than laugh at his wife, passes on the conversation, and tells us: “Whilst watching the news last night my wife said, ‘that newsreader is really making a name for herself during all this Brexit carry on’. My daughter asked what her name was. ‘Not a clue,’ replied my wife.”

Floating an idea

WE mentioned The Herald story about the dismantling of the old nuclear submarines tied up at Rosyth possibly being delayed until as late as 2060. As Ken Johnson in Lochwinnoch points out: "One of them, the former HMS Dreadnought, would be 100 years old by then, so by the time they get round to dismantling it there would probably be a preservation order on it as being of historic importance."

Tea time

WE'VE mentioned before the smaller football clubs that keep fans informed of what is happening during the game via social media. Thus Highland League club Lossiemouth FC was able to tell us during the match against Huntly this week: "Game delayed temporarily while the referee spews in the centre circle." They were perhaps less than sympathetic as they added a few minutes later the memorable line: "That’s him done yakking up his tea and we’re on the go again."

Incidentally ref Paul McAvinue eventually was forced to give up taking part, a linesman took over, and a volunteer linesman was recruited from the crowd. And Lossiemouth lost 1-0.

Cup runneth over

OUR mention of students arriving home for Easter reminds a reader: "In my student flat we were so lazy that no one wanted to do the washing up. It dawned on us how bad it was that we found ourselves drinking whisky out of eggcups as every other cup and tumbler needed washed."

Bubbling up

OUR stories of wedding gifts remind Russell Smith in Kilbirnie: "There was the very nervous bridegroom who in his wedding speech thanked the mother of the bride for the perky wee copulator instead of the wee coffee percolator."

Browned off

BIG story in football yesterday when Celtic captain Scott Brown was accused by the Scottish FA "of not acting in the best interests of Scottish football". A reader phones to tell us: "The SFA charging anyone for not acting in the best interests of Scottish football is irony in its purest form."

Read more: “Reasonable to assume that vandals were responsible for this act”