Talking mince

OUR cockroach in the soup story reminded Alasdair Sinclair: "When I was a prefect at Oban High in the 50s a boy complained that he could not eat his mince as there was a maggot in it. I took the offending plateful to the teacher in charge that day. He peered at it, called for silence and said, 'It has been brought to my notice that someone has found a maggot in his mince. When I was in the army we were lucky to get mince in our maggots.' Then he sat down and continued to eat his lunch."

Yes, the good old days of Scottish education.

Ducking and diving

WE mentioned the sad death of former Chief Constable Sir David McNee, and Brian McGregor recalls: "In 1972 while in the underwater unit of Glasgow Police, I was at the petrol pump in the old St Andrew's Square HQ filling jerry cans and dressed in my diving suit. I was approached by a man in a smart suit who asked what I was doing and he asked to see my warrant card. I explained that I didn't have it and that the fish wouldn't really need to see it either. He got into the passenger seat of a car and the driver got out and informed me that I had been speaking to Chief Constable David McNee ... and it appeared that he had a sense of humour!"

Que sera

AH the common sense of mothers... the death of veteran singer Doris Day reminds us of an interview Doris gave when her last album came out a few years ago and she said: "I feel so fortunate that I was able to do something I loved so much. I would have worked for nothing, and I really mean it." She then added after a slight pause: "My mother once said to me, 'Don't tell anyone that'."

Name and shame

A READER phones us with the pertinent question: "Kyle, Paxman, Clarkson, Corbyn – is there anyone named Jeremy that doesn't gie ye the boak?"

Going in circles

MORE on the Glasgow Subway as retired Eaglesham scout leader Alistair Moss tells us that he took a troop of Beaver Scouts – that's the younger lads – on a tour of the system in the early nineties. Says Alistair: "My friend in charge allowed each Beaver to drive the train for two stations round the inner circle until they all had a shot. On arriving at Cowcaddens two women were on the platform and noticed a six-year-old boy in the driver's seat with one of them commenting, 'They're so short of staff they're using weans!'"

Capital offering

THINGS you didn’t know... reader Norman MacAskill notes on the website of the Paris-based Accor Hotels Group that it describes Edinburgh as: “Although not the official capital of Scotland, Edinburgh is undoubtedly the best place to visit for a touch of elegance north of the border.” Alas it doesn’t explain what the official capital is – but it should be Glasgow shouldn’t it?

Moodie Marilyn

SAYS reader Margaret Forbes: "Your story about politician John Smith giving his name to a policeman and not being believed reminds me that my husband had friends called Marilyn Monro and Steve McQueen. They were stopped by police on their way home at night to Moodiesburn who did indeed believe the couple were winding them up when they gave their names."

Read more: 1947: Jackie Paterson, the title-laden boxer capable of ‘devastating power'