Billy Connolly’s Great American Trail
ITV, 9pm
OVER the quarter century Billy Connolly has been travelling the world for television the viewer has become accustomed to some astonishing scenes. The sight of him dancing in the scud around the standing stones of Orkney comes to mind (often, for some reason, when buying bananas). But this was something else. A Big Yin, big wow moment.
Billy Connolly’s Great American Trail is a three-parter following the paths of some of the millions of Scots who crossed the Atlantic in search of a better life. It opened in New York where the septuagenarian was leading the annual Tartan Day parade, still going strong despite the great Jack McConnell mini-kilt scandal of 2004.
The history Connolly had in mind went back further than that, all the way to Plymouth, Massachusetts, where the Pilgrims Fathers landed in 1620. Having a walk around the town, Connolly said Plymouth was obviously proud of its history, but he could not see why.
“They were thieves,” he said, blowing out of the water any notion this was going to be just another tame travelogue. “They stole the land off the Indians, they stole stuff from Indian graves. The Indians who had been good to them, showed them how to exist in the climate. America isn’t very good at apologising.”
Can you imagine any prominent Scot, Sean Connery, say, being so bold? Frankie Boyle, perhaps, but it was the quiet anger in Connolly’s tone that made his speech more blistering.
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He moved on: to a primary school where they teach youngsters a Native American language once thought dead; to a marine research station where the Scot in charge was using drones to assess the health of whales in a non-invasive way; to Boston, where he met The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, drag queen activists and charity fundraisers. Among their ranks was Sister Angie O’Plasty, who dealt with matters of the heart.
“They were charming people,” twinkled Connolly later. “Dirty buggers. I was very happy in their company. I’m glad they exist.”
Connolly did a lot of twinkling as the hour flew by. It was a joyful sight, but every now and then it was ever so slightly heart-bruising, too. Maybe it is his age, 76, the fact we know he is ailing from Parkinson’s, and the realisation that he won’t be around forever, that brought a certain poignancy to proceedings. His frailty was evident, but there was a lot of strength and dignity besides. And naughtiness too. It wouldn’t be Billy without a script featuring mentions of "willies" and descriptions of what happens to the male genitalia on contact with cold water. You didn’t get that with Alan Whicker or Judith Chalmers.
There’s plenty of wag in the old dog yet, as we saw when he arrived in Salem, “famous the world over for all the wrong reasons”.
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The puritans got it in the neck again for putting innocent people, most of them women, to death on the wrongful assumption they were involved in witchcraft, but Connolly’s message was aimed at other, more contemporary, persecutors. Standing at the site of the public hangings, he said: “You have to watch out for witch hunts of all different kinds, whether it’s about people’s colour, religion, sexual choices … It can lead to this.”
Salem has made lemonade out of its history, with the town raking in the tourist dollars. “The Blackpool of witchcraft”, Connolly called it as he gazed into the windows of shops selling everything from spooky masks to sculptures. There was even a statue of Elizabeth Montgomery, aka Samantha from the TV series Bewitched. “I met her once at a party in Los Angeles,” said Connolly. “She was a friend of Elton John’s.” (Oh my toe! Careful with that name dropping, Billy.) The best scene, his interview with a witch, was saved for towards the end. How old are you, she asked him. She was 86. Isn’t it wonderful that we’re so old, she said. “I love it,” said Connolly. “I never thought I’d get here.” It soon became clear she was interviewing him, asking if he was married, telling him he had no need of love potions to attract women. “You’re a very handsome man, you know that?” OMG, as someone 70 years younger than her might say, she was flirting with him.
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“Thank you,” beamed Connolly. “Yes!” he said later in voiceover, “I’ve still got it.”
We never doubted it.
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