‘WHEN Man left Africa 300,000 years ago…’ Did he? Were there no women with him? Textbooks and historians once spoke of Man and Mankind, not humanity or humankind. Man invented fire. Mankind populated the planet. Women didn’t get much of a look in, even though they’ve made up half the population for the entirety of human existence. Now such expressions appear rather archaic and sexist.

Some of the greatest speeches in history seem sadly marred today when we look back and see this blindness to everyone on the planet who didn’t wear trousers. Neil Armstrong was a great guy – I’m named after him, so I’ve got to admire him. But he blew his moon landing line by making it all about us fellas. It might have spoiled the symmetrical poetry of Armstrong’s famous quote, but it would still have been nice to hear about humankind. He did go there for everyone, after all.

Language is a code for understanding the world – describing humanity as ‘mankind’ frames the world as male. So the culture war of the 1960s and 70s which saw feminists arguing that the use of the generic ‘he’ was sexist is pretty understandable. You hear the generic ‘he’ in phrases like ‘when a child goes to school, he will learn reading, writing and arithmetic’. As if girls never went to class, only boys.

When feminists pointed out that this felt a little unfair, all hell broke lose. The head of linguistics at Harvard accused feminists of “pronoun envy”, and the intellectual William Safire went into meltdown declaiming that to use a generic ‘they’ instead of ‘he’ would be to “cave into the radic-lib forces of usage permissiveness”.

To cap it all, feminists were also asking men to call them Ms instead of Miss or Mrs – to make the point that women, like men, aren’t defined by their marital status. Had the world gone absolutely mad? What were these women trying to do to the sanctity of language? They want to emasculate men!

So, we’ve been here before – with language used as a proxy in the battle against progress. Today, we’ve the absurd ruckus over the singer-songwriter Sam Smith asking to be referred to as ‘they’ or ‘them’ instead of ‘he’ and ‘him’.

Smith said: “I've decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM. After a lifetime of being at war with my gender, I've decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out.”

READ MORE: Singer Sam Smith asks to be referred to by non-binary 'they/them' 

Cue the usual suspects talking the usual nonsense: It’s a war on words, it’s against science, it’s (sigh) political correctness gone mad.

It’s nothing of the sort. It’s one human being asking a kindness of other human beings. If Smith wishes to be referred to as ‘they’ how on Earth is that going to hurt anyone? There’s no law that says you have to say ‘they’. You won’t get put in prison if you use ‘he’. But it might be nice to try and treat someone the way they want to be treated, the way that makes them feel happy and respected.

Of course, it’s a two-way street. Many folk seem bewildered by the flurry of changes in society around gender and identity. And that’s alright too. If you’ve never heard the expression ‘gender-neutral’, if you don’t know anyone who’s gay or lesbian or transgender, it’s not fair to expect you to be down with the whole lingo from the get-go.

It’s all about mutual respect for each other and the measuring of our expectations. If you know a person wants to be called ‘they’ then what harm will it do trying your best to call them that? And likewise, if you make an honest mistake and say ‘he’ or ‘she’ then you shouldn’t be shamed or attacked for that. We need to recognise change can be difficult for some.

I was brought up in a very feminist household so I’m lucky to not find such changes frightening or radical. To me, it’s just slow progress towards a world where we all feel as comfortable as we can about who we are. But I still mess up plenty of times.

I know folk who are gender-neutral and use ‘they’ and ‘them’, and sometimes I’ve accidentally said ‘he’ or ‘she’. No-one has screamed in my face and called me a monster. I wasn’t marched through the public square and pilloried with rotten tomatoes. The thought police didn’t helicopter in to arrest me and take me away for re-education. In fact, the only person to comment was me, with a slightly awkward apology usually met with a smile and a "don’t worry". If you try to be nice to people, they’ll usually try to be nice back.

Is it really concern for the inviolable nature of language which lies at the heart of all this anger? No-one seems to mind when ridiculous new words and phrases come into being – like turning google into a verb, or corporate gibberish about "the strategic staircase" (whatever the hell that even means).

But when language is linked to women or sexual or ethnic minorities trying to level the playing field with us straight white guys, then boys, this is serious, and something has to be done. Man the barriers of civilisation quick!

You see the same with the treatment of Greta Thunberg, the teenage climate activist. Pretty much the same type of people who are losing their minds over Sam Smith, are having conniption fits over a 16-year-old Swede. She’s sinister, she’s being used, she’s mentally ill, she’s above her station. You know what – like Smith, Thunberg is just a human being telling us about the feelings they have inside them. You can listen or you cannot – it’s entirely up to you. There’s no gun at your head, so there’s no reason to wage war or cry like a baby.

READ MORE: Sexual health charities call on Scottish Government to go ahead with Gender Recognition Act reforms 

To me, it all smacks of people who are scared, full of doubt, and lacking in self-assurance bullying those they see as a challenge to them. That’s certainly easier than thinking seriously about what these folk are saying. A singer is talking about all that difficult gender stuff?! A teenager wants me to care about the climate?! Well then, I better put them in their place, and damn quick.

Who’s really weak in all this? The singer who’s shared their vulnerability? The teenager trying to do good? Or the men – and it’s nearly all men – punching down at minorities and young people who just want themselves and the rest of us to be a little bit happier?

Neil Mackay is Scotland’s Columnist of the Year