Fool frontal

AS our politicians grub for votes, Unspun hears some punters are taking it upon themselves to raise the tone of the national debate. Like the one who interrupted STV’s constituency profile of Glasgow North East. As the camera started rolling, a passerby immediately dropped his trousers and pants and began leaping about shouting “hairy hairy monkey” down the lens. These things happen in Possil. Sadly, however, this inspirational act of public indecency will never be broadcast on taste grounds. “It was also a cold day, so not very much to see,” reports our mole.

Political animal

THE LibDems are doing their best in Ross, Skye and Lochaber to oust top Nat Ian Blackford. Rather awkwardly, the seat’s 2017 LibDem candidate, Jean Davis, this week backed the SNP. Mr Blackford was jubilant. However, Ms Davis had previously declared her dog would help decide her vote by wiping one of the candidates' names off her tiled floor. So perhaps not the most stellar of endorsements. Now a cat...

Ladies only

RAISED eyebrows too at the SNP’s launch of a “mini-manifesto of key pledges for women”, presumably to avoid the poor dears tiring their wee brains and burning the dinner. “What’s next?” wonders our unimpressed source. “A free lippy and mirror with every vote?” One gal who obviously needs no support is Jo Swinson. Her latest leaflet in East Dunbartonshire claims she has helped with “almost 10,000 issues”. Who knew there even were 10,000 issues to get fussed about? No doubt there’s a bar chart to explain it all.

Long-life Leonard

MIND -blowing statistic of the week: Richard Leonard has been leader of Scottish Labour longer than Kezia Dugdale. Mr Leonard passed his predecessor’s 745 days on Wednesday, his anonymity unscathed. Ms Dugdale quit after going backwards at two elections. Having lost both his MEPs in May, Mr Leonard now looks set to lose more MPs next week. Will he follow suit? Holyrood wags say if he does, there’s a jungle-based TV talent show that’ll snap him up: I’m a Non-entity Get Me Out of Here.

Wings not over Scotland

SO, farewell then, to the Sturbocopter. A prominent part of general elections past, the SNP’s Sturgeon-themed helicopter has been grounded and the First Minister has taken to a Nattle Bus instead. Besides bad weather and looking elitist, the whirlybird also cost SNP HQ a ton of dosh in 2015 and 2017, so it’s no wonder its gone. As new data showed on Thursday, the party has reported just £10,000 in non-bequest private donations during the campaign.

Lots of Shotts

TOUGH times for the SNP’s Neil Gray in Airdrie & Shotts by the look of a desperate email he sent this week pleading for help with “13,500 letters that need to be stuffed and sorted as quickly as possible” before polling day. “It is a huge task,” Mr Gray wailed. “Please come along if you can to help at this crucial part of the campaign.” Despite Jeremy Corbyn’s best efforts, it seems his 195-vote majority over Labour is looking rather vulnerable. 

Get a load of you

CAN you have too much democracy in an election? Scotland’s £1m talking shop, the Citizens Assembly, thinks so. Its monthly blethers would usually have the online world agog. But it recently cancelled its live-stream to an expectant nation to avoid “suggestions that we are drawing attention away from or otherwise intervening in the General Election. We have not taken this decision lightly.” Draw attention away from the election? Such modesty!