In the red

WEIRD news arrives of Scottish Labour’s election finances. We hear the party was so deluded, it actually outspent the SNP in Edinburgh East and Edinburgh North & Leith. Nats Tommy Sheppard and Deidre Brock duly gained votes, Labour went backwards. The next accounts will be a hoot. Meanwhile, the messiest candidate return - printed at the wrong angle, no invoices etc - belonged to Nat Sarah Masson in Edinburgh West. Perhaps her agent should have been more diligent. He was, after all, only city council leader Adam McVey.

Double barrel

SO farewell then, Fergus Mutch. The SNP’s affable spindoctor is leaving Holyrood next week - Fergexit, as he calls it - and is planning a drinks bash. It’s a popular idea. Tory Scottish Secretary Alister Jack is having drinks for the media at exactly the same time, leaving hacks with a dilemma about where to sink a pint. “It’s typical of the political class,” grumbles one. “For years they can’t organise a p***-up in a brewery, then two come along at once.”

Spin cycle

TALKING of spindoctors, LibDem Max Sefton couldn’t resist a pop at a Labour counterpart in the Holyrood bar on Thursday. As everyone talked about Richard Leonard’s legendary PFI misfire at FMQs, Max suggested the Scottish Labour leader may have been getting some poisoned advice. “So did Anas Sarwar or Jackie Baillie write that question?” he asked. Mr Leonard’s heart-broken supporter was genuinely lost for words.

Lunar raver

ALSO in the bar last week was Lanarkshire SNP MSP Richard Lyle, universally known as Salty Dick after once claiming a bag of chips on expenses. As well as a bon viveur, it seems Mr Lyle is also a conspiracy buff. After repeatedly asking BBC political guru Brian Taylor who really killed JFK, Salty moved onto the moon landings, noting not everyone believed in them. At which Brian swiftly shut the mad conversation down. Then again, why visit the moon when you have Lanarkshire?

Naw bags

ALLAN Dorans, new Nat MP for Ayr, tried appealing to the better side of human nature in his maiden speech this week. Classic rookie mistake! He paid tribute to his Tory predecessor in the seat. “Bill Grant and I were councillors together. We agreed we would work together collaboratively for the benefit of our constituents and not along political lines - perhaps a model that could be followed by others.” At which an SNP colleague scoffed and let out a loud “Naw!” We’re looking at you, Chris Stephens.

Island life

MUCH muttering in the Yes ranks ahead of Nicola Sturgeon’s ‘next steps’ speech. One of those plugging a Plan B on Indyref2, Inverclyde councillor Chris McEleny, put out a press release saying he hoped the FM would be “radical”. In doing so, he gave a nod to his fellow Plan B-er, Angus MacNeil, describing him as the MP for the “Western Aisles”. You can always tell if aisles are in the Western Isles because there’s no dancing in them.