NONE of us truly knows how we will react in a crisis. Well, that's not strictly accurate. We were given a soul-sapping glimpse into the public psyche during the great KFC chicken shortage of 2018 when countless thwarted finger-licking fans dialled 999 to report the matter to the police.
The coronavirus is a serious and largely unprecedented situation, one not to be taken lightly. Yet, amid the swirling vortex of uncertainty, you can't help but gawp in wonderment at how a stockpile of toilet rolls has become the new status symbol.
Hand sanitiser is a commodity being traded like gold. Common sense is often nowhere to be found.
Think of the millions of merchandise items – aprons, keyrings, mugs and coasters – bearing the slogan, "Keep Calm and Carry On", that have been sold in recent years. This trend did not age well. Keep Calm and Carry On. No bother. But first, just let me pop to Costco and buy 200 loo rolls.
I do wonder, though, if the folk frantically stockpiling toilet paper have confused coronavirus with norovirus? It's not an item high on my list.
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Curiously, while there have been grumbles about dwindling soap supplies on some supermarket shelves, this has sparked less of a frenzy than the new national obsession with hand sanitiser. Which doesn't say much for the general standards of hygiene pre-coronavirus.
The disparaging term "the great unwashed" coined by Victorian writer Edward Bulwer-Lytton could be dusted off and repurposed quite literally. As an airport worker wearily lamented: "The number of people who hand you their passport or boarding pass after they have had it in their mouth ..."
This doesn't surprise me one jot. The other week, I watched a guy sitting opposite me on the train spend almost the entire 20-minute journey using his ticket to exfoliate crusted acne, floss his teeth and clean under his nails, before then handing it over to a poor, unsuspecting inspector.
In ordinary times, this would be merely disgusting. Now? It's a worrying indictment of how apathy and self-absorption could affect us all. We each have a role to play in the coming weeks and months. Despite the bravado that many of us outwardly project, the gnawing fear is impossible to ignore.
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It makes me shudder when I hear the glib, oft-parroted line that if you are young, fit and healthy, then you might escape the worst ravages of coronavirus, while the elderly and infirm may not be so lucky.
Every one of us has a duty to those most vulnerable in society. It's not simply a case of batten down the hatches and survival of the fittest. Now, go wash your hands.
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