MY normal remit for this column is to try and take a lighter, sideways look at topical issues and life in general. I'm sure you can appreciate that's no easy feat in these strange and worrying times. But I'm trying. So do bear with me.
One thought: We don't deserve dogs. It's a sentiment often articulated on social media, usually accompanied by a video or photograph of a canine being especially cute.
In recent days, I've lost count of the times as I've sat, head in hands, despairing at unfolding events, that I've felt the nudge of a cold, wet nose.
I look up to see my collie Moose. Sometimes he appears concerned and snuggles into my side, others he drops his ball into my lap as if to say, come play, forget your worries for a while.
I adopted Moose from the Dogs Trust in Glasgow last August. To say he has enriched our lives and brought so much joy doesn't even begin to cover it. He's sweet and mischievous and incredibly clever. He's also a peacemaker should voices ever be raised.
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The other week when my mum and I were having a heated debate as we sat watching telly, Moose jumped up on the sofa between us, a stern look in either direction. He usually lays his head on whoever he decrees is the aggrieved. In this case, he plumped for my mum. I conceded defeat. Moose knows that gran is always right.
I should interject here, for fear of offending any cat people, that I do love felines too. They just don't love me. Or rather the proteins in their saliva don't. I've read that prolonged exposure can lead to allergies. In hindsight, the decade I allowed my childhood cat to sleep round my neck like a scarf at night may not have been prudent.
Cats, though, can be aloof. With a dog, no matter how tough your day, he or she is there to greet you with bright eyes and a wagging tail. It's like coming home to a 1950s housewife, except you need to then run around after the dog, rather than the other way about. I've yet to have my slippers brought to me at bedtime.
The coronavirus pandemic will see many of us socially distancing and self-isolating in the coming weeks and months, ushering in a golden age for all the "good boys" and "good girls" who love spending time around their humans.
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There is something incredibly soothing about how oblivious and unaffected dogs are amid this swirling vortex of fear and uncertainty. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a ball to throw.
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