New pursuits

BEING a scholarly chap, you would expect TV historian Neil Oliver to use the copious free time now at his disposal to improve his knowledge base. This hasn’t been the case. “So far I haven’t learned Gaelic, the banjo or bread baking,” he says. “On the upside I’ve just had a fish finger sandwich on sliced white and I’ve been drinking heavily.”


IN a silly mood, reader Donna Shelley and various pals have been on social media discussing which word would make a sweet name for a baby, if the word didn’t have its original meaning. One of Donna’s friends suggests that Brioche is an excellent name for a posh girl. Though Donna adds that Brioche would no doubt get bullied rotten if the little darling’s mama and papa forced her to attend one of those terribly rough state schools.

She might even have to change her name to Bread Roll.

Radiating wisdom

BEING stuck in the house with a seven-month-old child can be exhausting, though you do get to educate your youngster in the ways of the world, as Glasgow comedian Ray Bradshaw can testify. “Today I've said the phrase 'You can't eat bits of the radiator' at least four times,” grumbles Ray.

Making the cut

WHEN she was a youngster, reader Diana Barker was always proud of her father. Especially when she found out that at work he had 600 men under him. “It was only later that I discovered dad cut the grass at a graveyard,” adds Diana.

Northern deprivation

A HISTORY lesson from reader Karl Ballard. “Wessex was named after the Saxons who settled in the west,” he explains. “Essex after the Saxons who settled in the east. And Sussex after the Saxons who settled in the south.”

At this point the narrative becomes more complex. “For some unknown reason the Saxons who settled in the north only lasted a generation,” says Karl.

Voyage into vocab

FEELING bored, reader Paul Cronin decided to memorize six pages of the dictionary. And was it an educational experience? “I learned next to nothing,” says Paul.

Your card’s marked

SCOTTISH actor David Rankine reveals he’s been indulging in one of those histrionic hissy fits favoured by the thespian profession. “My housemate just asked: ‘Can I borrow a bookmark?’” he says, adding: “I burst into tears. I’ve been living here since October and he still doesn’t know my name’s David.”

Bonkers bye bye

NUTTY joke time. Reader Eric Carter asks how does one nut bid farewell to another nut? He says: “Cashew later, pal.”

Read more: Jean Roberts, Glasgow’s first female Lord Provost