BY now you may be familiar with Susan. The double-chinned, baggy-eyed, hump-backed, pot-bellied, pyjama-wearing poster girl for working from home.

No, it's not actually me. Rather, a computer-generated model of what the average home worker might look like in 2045, a stark warning about the long-term effects of telecommuting, according to job experts DirectlyApply.

A team of clinical psychologists and fitness professionals pinpointed the potential impact on our physical and mental health and it isn't pretty: obesity, neck pain, wrinkles, pale and dull skin, hair loss, poor posture and increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

Why Susan? Well, I guess Karen was taken. When I saw the image of this grotesque humanoid staring back at me, I couldn't help but feel I was peering through a tear in the space-time continuum at my future self. And it was scary.

I've gained half a stone during lockdown. This is not good news. Especially when I was already carrying some extra pounds. I had a "cheat day" – as health bods are wont to call it – back in 2014 and six years later haven't quite clambered back on the wagon.

Lockdown has been a green light to indulge in even greater sloth-like behaviour. Well, not for everyone. I realise there are people who have put the time to good use by transforming themselves from former couch potatoes to budding 5k runners and I salute every one of you.

READ MORE: Susan Swarbrick: Dumping junk has become a national pastime

Running isn't for me. I've been there and got the box full of 10k medals (and a lone half marathon) a decade ago. Cycling is another no-go area: I fell out of love with my bike in 2015.

I was a vocal cycling ambassador for many years but eventually the white noise of men on the internet – yes, it was almost always men – telling me what I should and shouldn't be wearing to ride, criticising my power-to-weight ratio, yada yada, on and on, simply became too wearying.

So, I stepped away. My bikes – yes, I have two – now languish forlornly under a dust sheet. I think they are still there. I haven't checked for quite some time.

I hasten to add it was a certain type of man. I've talked to countless Olympic cyclists and top-flight coaches over the years and not one, ever, has been condescending.

Let that sit with you for a moment. And if you're the kind of person who feels the need to give out unsolicited advice to women on the internet, perhaps this could be the day you think about nipping it in the bud.

So, a long road lies ahead. I've been here before. Long-time readers will remember a similar weight loss journey back in 2009. Except this time, I'm 11 years older and well through the door into middle age when those extra pounds are more stubborn to shift.

READ MORE: Susan Swarbrick: When lockdown is over do I need to wear a bra?

It probably doesn't help that I've never met a potato I didn't like. And a bit too fond of pastries. But I'll give it a bash. If there's one thing I've learned lately, it's that sitting still isn't an option.

Our columns are a platform for writers to express their opinions. They do not necessarily represent the views of The Herald