Rabbit punch

THE trailer for the new Batman movie features Scottish actor Alex Ferns. We aren’t sure what his role will be, though probably not sassy sidekick Robin.

Alex usually plays villains, most infamously in EastEnders, where he terrorised popular character Little Mo.

Perhaps his most disturbing role was in a London play where his on-stage nemesis was a live rabbit called Mr Tubbs.

When first performed, Alex was at pains to point out that the bunny didn’t die. Though after a moment’s consideration, he bashfully conceded: “He is threatened with a hammer.”

READ MORE: Festival Theatre and King’s Theatre benefit from £168,000 emergency funding

Botanical lesson

GIN is rapidly replacing whisky as the nation’s top tipple. Scots born rocker Mark Knopfler recently launched his own brand and a company based in a certain West Coast town is distilling a product called Glaswegin. (Clue: The town isn’t Girvan.)

Then there’s East Lothian’s Fidra Gin, which proudly proclaims it uses foraged botanicals as an ingredient.

Hold on. The Diary is no gin connoisseur. But aren’t foraged botanicals weeds?

Winnie pooh-poohs

A RECENT Herald article recalled Winston Churchill’s fractious relationship with Scotland, where he was an MP for many years. As the story pointed out, Churchill made numerous enemies amongst Scots who weren’t impressed with his harsh handling of a protest in Glasgow’s George Square.

Though he proved his progressive credentials by once explaining that females weren’t being ignored in an era when they couldn’t vote.

When asked about universal suffrage, he bonded with the gals by explaining: “You have political rights as exercised through your husband.”

On further consideration, Scottish women probably hated Winnie, too.

READ MORE: Sturgeon pressed on overseas students testing ahead of 'biggest movement of people since lockdown'

Fitfully forgetful

WHO needs gyms? Not reader Stephanie Harrington who’s getting plenty of exercise. When leaving the house she collects coat, purse, keys, phone… then off to catch a train. As the train pulls in she realises she’s forgotten her mask. And homeward she sprints.

“The same thing happens going to the local shop,” says Stephanie. “Face masks. They’re turning the world into one big treadmill.”

Monstrous accusation

JOE Biden has been dismissed by Donald Trump Jnr as the “Loch Ness Monster of the swamp”. Not a particularly flattering description. Though at least Nessie is never seen nor heard. Something you can’t say (regrettably) about a certain orange-hued White House resident.

First night nerves

MORE phrases that can be used in the theatre and the boudoir. Author Douglas Skelton suggests: “Can I have a prompt, please?”

Burning ambition

EMPOWERING thought for the day from reader Carl Farmer: “You’ll never be as lazy as the bloke who named the fireplace.”

Read more: Those were the days