Cat-astrophic
AFTER enjoying a refreshing nap in a hammock over the summer, Brexit has shifted from torpor to topical. Reader Bob Milner is positively delighted at the prospect of Boris and Brussels braced for battle yet again.
“So many depressing things have happened in the last few months that Brexit now seems like light relief,” he explains. “It’s almost become one of those ‘cat stuck up a tree’ stories they used to broadcast at the end of the TV news.”
With a tad more solemnity, Bob adds: “Though I suppose Boris is the cat, the tree is Brexit, and no friendly fireman is in sight.
“So perhaps it’s not the light relief I assumed it was.”
Bum deal
WITH our keen eye for fashion accessories, the Diary has been focusing on bum bags. Harry Clark from Bishopbriggs provides us with a tragic tale involving one such accoutrement.
“I once skied with a friend who decided to turn his bum bag to the front in case he fell over and broke his flask and glasses,” explains Harry. “He proceeded to ski into a fence post.”
Rocky theory
THE most curious rock star revelation for many a year is to be found in a new biography of Jimi Hendrix. In Wild Thing by Philip Norman it’s reported that the American guitar guru adored Coronation Street, watching it avidly when he lived in the UK.
With this in mind, reader Tom Lindsay is now speculating that another six-string strummer from the Swinging Sixties might possibly be a River City fan, with an unquenchable passion for Glesga culture.
“It’s only a matter of time until we discover that the first draft of Eric Clapton’s rock ballad, Layla, was actually titled Senga,” says Tom.
Raging royals
HARRY and Meghan have signed a contract to produce programmes for broadcasting giant Netflix. We’ve been trying to figure out what delights the couple might offer the viewing public.
Reader David Donaldson suggests a serial based on a John Steinbeck classic, where the adaptation would take into account certain behavioural characteristics of the royal couple.
The drama’s name? The Gripes of Wrath.
Crafty collision
WITH social distancing rules remaining in place, Hugh Steele from Cumbernauld has an important question. “Is it possible to do a Masonic elbow bump?” he asks.
Unfit behaviour
“I’M using my Fitbit to track steps,” reveals Scottish comedian Samantha Hannah. “Don’t think H is too happy about it.”
Boom-boom
DAFT joke time. “What names did the drummer give his twin daughters?” asks reader Shirley Munro. “Anna 1. Anna 2.”
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