WE all took a trip down memory lane at FMQs today. Well, most of us did. Others seem to have forgotten the way.
Take Nicola Sturgeon, for instance. The First Amnesia has been having trouble recalling life-changing events of late.
Like that time Alex Salmond’s former chief of staff came to her office at Holyrood and said her predecessor and mentor was being investigated by her officials for alleged sexual misconduct.
Ms Sturgeon failed to mention it to the Scottish Parliament when she listed her later dealings with the former FM last year. Why? She had “forgotten” about it, she said.
All perfectly understandable, as she has now explained to a Holyrood inquiry, as it was “in the midst of a busy day” after FMQs.
So it naturally faded into the wallpaper of existence, along with lunch in the canteen and what she watched on Netflix that night.
Just a bit of cosmic fluff. No wonder it wasn’t recorded in her diary or minuted by staff, and the Government only admitted it after it came out in court. Trivia, really.
Out of pure obstinacy, however, Ruth Davidson refused to believe this very valid explanation. Was it credible that the FM would have forgotten such a thing? she asked.
“I get why people will look at that and raise an eyebrow,” said Ms Sturgeon, as every eyebrow in the chamber leapt to attention.
But it was the meeting with Mr Salmond himself four days later in her house that she’d really remembered. Fair “seared” in the grey matter that one, she sighed.
“If that has somehow overwritten in my mind a much more fleeting, opportunistic meeting that took place a few days earlier, that is just how it is.”
The Scottish Tory leader ungraciously persisted, reminding Ms Sturgeon they “ended up talking about the Arctic strategy” at that day’s FMQs, “which is not something to cause anyone to forget sexual assault allegations.”
Ms Sturgeon stretched out her arms with a pained expression. “I have nothing to hide,” she said, looking like she was trying to shuffle a wardrobe over a stain.
“I have nothing to hide!”
Ms Davidson said the FM’s position was “absurd”. Her memory, normally sharp as a razor, was somehow dull as a spoon when bad news loomed over her government and party.
“I have spent enough time sparring with her here to know that her powers of recall are in good order,” she sniffed.
Ms Sturgeon did remember something, however. How to nip.
She was, she insisted, open to scrutiny not only by Holyrood but by voters at next year’s election.
“They will not get that opportunity with Ruth Davidson, because she will be away by then, in the House of Lords.”
Baroness Seatwarmer shot her another Arctic blast. She wouldn’t forget that one. Or forgive.
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