Timely tale

WITH 2020 being an unusual year, to say the least, many people are dipping their noses into dystopian novels in an attempt to understand the situation.

George Orwell’s 1984 has become particularly popular. Though Dr Emily Munro, Learning and Outreach Officer for the National Library of Scotland, has discovered a classic story that is perhaps even more prescient.

The science fiction narrative, originally published many years ago, is set in the year 2020. There exists a strange, yet unnervingly familiar society, where everyone is cut off from the outside world and unable to travel from city to city because of a deadly plague.

So is this terrifying tale a freshly discovered work by Orwell? Not quite. It’s a comic strip from a 1987 Bunty Annual.

We can’t say we weren’t warned…

Cutting comment

THE Diary is keen to persuade that mysterious and mystical man of a myriad of magical abilities, Uri Geller, to solve the vast majority of Scotland’s problems. But where should he begin?

Jack Humphreys would like Uri to erase an entire year from the history books.

“The sixties was a dizzyingly hectic period, with the Beatles, Woodstock and the moon landing,” our reader points out. “So if we could trim away the less important stuff from that decade, the year 1966 for instance, it very likely wouldn’t be missed.”

The Diary heartily concurs with this sentiment. Though we aren’t entirely sure the many history buffs south of Hadrian’s Wall would agree.

Tiny taunt

OUR readers continue to horrify us with tales of cruelty inflicted on those of a diminutive stature. Arthur Frame from Lanark says a short chap at his golf club is forever being antagonised. What gets him particularly incensed is when his fiendish chums say he must be the only person in Scotland whose legs are visible in his passport photograph.

Hair-brained query

“DOES anybody actually use Head & Shoulders shampoo to wash their shoulders?” asks reader James Bennett.

Half-baked idea

WE recently revealed a Trump sandwich is being sold in a Scottish bar. Our culinary correspondent, David Donaldson, suggests a Boris Bake would also be tasty, though It would come with the warning: ‘May contain nuts’.

Or perhaps that should be nut nuts.

Glumly glad

WE continue recording Scotland’s most upbeat phrases. Bill Strang from Drumoak recalls a dour Fraserburgh fishwife back in the 1960s remonstrating about life dolefully, then sighing: “It’s ma cheeriness at keeps me gaain.”

Funny peculiar

WELL travelled reader Sue Neely says Hawaiian people don’t laugh loudly. “It’s just a low ha,” she explains.