Slippery slope

A DIARY tale about icy weather persuades reader Mary Kearney to reveal what her hubby has been up to recently. With no inclination to brave the outdoors, he has instead been entertaining himself by spying from the third floor window of the couple’s flat, where he watches passing pedestrians attempt to traverse the slippery path. He particularly enjoys watching haughty joggers slip, slide then collapse in a heap of their own hubris.

Though he’s not amused when people walk on the grass verge next to the path, which allows greater purchase for unsteady feet. On one such occurrence he barked with outrage: “Come off it, that’s just cheating.”

Doc’s advice

WE continue reminiscing about the late football manager and raconteur Tommy Docherty. Reader George F Campbell recalls back in the 1960s football transfer fees were rocketing and had reached the precipitous peak of £100,000. (Roughly the amount modern players shell out for new trainers.)

A popular English striker named Tony Hateley (father of Mark) was making headlines at the time and Docherty was asked how much he thought he was worth.

Tommy replied: "A hundred thousand wouldn't buy him." He then added: "And I'm one of them." 

U.S of Anarchy

JUST when you thought America couldn’t plunge any further into darkness a Washington wipe-out takes place, with events rapidly moving from chaotic to Krakatoa-ic. Meanwhile Glasgow comedian and close observer of the situation, Paul McDaniel, makes an astute observation. “I tell you what,” he says, “the more I read about this Donald Trump fella, the less I like him.”

Unique or freak?

THE Diary recently discussed certain class-based discrepancies in our local lingo, namely that a working class bloke who exhibits certain peculiarities of personality is labelled a bam while a chap of a similar nature, who happens to own the local manor house, is respectfully referred to as an eccentric.

Russell Smith from Largs believes the terminology isn’t so clear cut, and instead should be: “I’m an individual, you’re an eccentric, and he’s off his bloody head.”

Lyrical loser

IRRITATED music fan Alex Wilson says: “I hate it when I'm singing along with a song on the radio and the artist gets the lyrics wrong.”

Talking balls

CELTIC have been criticised for their recent training trip to Dubai. Reader Barry Moore wonders if it would be acceptable for him to jet abroad to improve his ballplaying skills.

“Though it is a beachball,” he admits.

Ace artisans

CURIOUS reader Clive Scott asks: “Do locksmiths qualify as key workers?”

Our columns are a platform for writers to express their opinions. They do not necessarily represent the views of The Herald.