THE public sector can often be pompous in its pronouncements, points out reader Gordon Casely, who regularly receives emails from the government’s Rail Accident Investigation Branch. A recent missive described “overspeeding trains between Laurencekirk and Portlethen”.
Gordon is curious to know if such a thing exists as underspeeding. Or perhaps even perfectamountspeeding…
Talking turkey
CHRISTMAS is long gone. Or did it actually happen? It’s all so confusing. What isn’t confusing is the fact that festive scraps from the Christmas table often last well past December 25. Glasgow North West MP Carol Monaghan recently spotted a tinfoil turkey tray being used as a sledge.
The Diary is now curious to know what the children of vegetarians use to whizz down icy slopes.
Repurposed lettuce leaves?
Fine dining
A DIARY story about a waitress asking customers if they wanted pouring or skooshy cream reminds Gary Campbell, from Inverness, of the time he was seated at a top table at a west of Scotland wedding. The waitress arrived armed with two bottles of wine and proceeded to ask each diner: “Dae ye waant red or white, or dae ye waant to wait for the Asti?”
Market prices
A HIGHLY unlikely tale from reader Sandy Tuckerman who assures us he spotted a chap at the Barras recently selling coronavirus vaccines. “It was two pounds for an Oxford or three for a Pfizer,” says Sandy.
Syntactical tangle
MORE mixed messages from reader Paul H Costello, who has been explaining that confusion often arises using popular local phrases. For instance…
Hod up = Ready to carry bricks.
Haudup = I might be home late.
Hoodup = it's raining.
Footy faux pas
WE continue reminiscing about the late football manager Tommy Docherty. Reader John Whiteford recalls Tommy being interviewed on TV in the 1970s at a football ground where the crowd had rioted. “What should be done to stop this?” asked the interviewer.
“Bring back capital punishment,” was Tommy’s response.
“Don’t you mean corporal punishment?” the flummoxed reporter stuttered.
“Call it what you want,” said Tommy. “They’ve got to bring it back.”
Bombastic bloke buttoned
A RATHER nervous Arthur Frame, from Lanark, says: “Just wondering if I’ve got this right. The person who has all of America’s nuclear codes is deemed too dangerous to have a Twitter account… wow.”
(When Arthur says “wow” we assume he means “yikes”.)
Bags of mags
COVETOUS reader Mike Sharpe says he has saved stacks of old magazines in his loft. “Does this mean I’ve got issues?” he enquires.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here