Call Les Trotter's mobile phone and you are disconcertingly greeted by the strains of Elvis Presley. The King croons his 1966 single "Tell me why," while callers await an answer. The plea is an apposite mantra for the Edinburgh campaigner.
The 50-year-old secretary of Hutchison Vale FC dedicates much of his time to posing that question. His regular refrain is centred on the shabby state of sporting facilities in the city and has metamorphosed into a pressure group, Unite the Clubs, established a little over a year ago from the capital's youth football teams.
Their persistent probing has attracted answers from MSPs, who have agreed to discuss the issue at a parliament committee next week. Elected members Margo McDonald, Kenny MacAskill, Frank McAveety and George Foulkes, the erstwhile chairman of Hearts, have joined the campaign, which peaked in February when 3000 people marched to the parliament.
Yet since then, little has changed.
Edinburgh City Council, says Trotter, have had their "backsides kicked", but despite agreeing to the minimum standards proposed by the group, only cosmetic alterations have been made to a handful of facilities.
"A coat of paint covers a multitude of sins - and I used to be a painter and decorator so I should know," says Trotter. "The pavilions are still stuck in the dark ages.
Some of them are like something from a 1940s prisoner of war camp - it's a bloody disgrace.
"The sinks and toilets should be condemned and there should at least be hot water to allow kids to wash the dog dirt off their legs before they get back into their mother's car. And there's only one fountain in the whole city that has drinking water and I certainly wouldn't drink from it.
"Some of these places haven't changed since I was a laddie but we're not asking for miracles, just places that are up to a standard for human beings to use."
The problem, as ever, is financial. Trotter insists money is available - he points to investment in the arts and in crime and drugs initiatives - but admits that whoever shouts loudest attracts the loot. The impact of the Commonwealth Games in 2014 on the kitty also causes concern but, he ponders, how are we supposed to produce potential winners without suitable facilities?
The SFA's youth action plan was the supposed salve for the situation and, while encouraged by Gordon Smith's latest offerings, he scoffs at its initial impact. Yet the answer is simple. Trotter believes that even an investment of just £10,000 in each facility would be enough; the resulting pride encouraging clubs to carry out any maintenance.
Eschewing the short-termism that often stymies such suggestions, the gregarious president also argues that funding in sport can reduce future spend on drugs, crime and health.
"We've got 557 kids here and that's 557 kids who are off the streets, not getting into trouble and staying healthy," he says of one of Scottish football's most respected feeder clubs. "But if the facilities are not good enough, they're not interested. Who wants to go into a dirty, freezing rat-infested changing room when they could be in the warmth playing an Xbox?"
Having stood and watched his 14-year-old son Leslie trying to play on pitches covered in excrement, broken glass and needles and watched aghast as human waste spilled over the top of a toilet bowl in a changing room, Trotter was moved to act.
His constructive and realistic approach has been appreciated by the politicians who, to their credit, have engaged in discussions. The suggestion that he "noises up people" is perhaps disingenuous but Trotter, who is a full-time carer for wife Flo after spending time as a gardener and child protection officer, is a convincing advocate.
"I'm just the big mouth with the brass neck at the front, loads of other people are doing the same as me," is his bashful response to that suggestion. "I really enjoy seeing the kids getting a benefit out of it. I'm not looking for a medal, I just want the best for my kids and if I can get the best for them, I can get the best for everyone else.
"It's quite an achievement that 3000 kids marched though Edinburgh but they don't understand the politics and are asking me why things aren't happening. How do you explain that to a bairn?"
Chereen, his daughter, is a keen ice-skater but her local rink faces closure. How is she supposed to continue her development, Trotter asks? And what of other sports? And other areas of Scotland?
"Tell me why?" seems likely to be heard regularly for some time to come.
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