Porky perks

SYLVESTER McCoy, the first star of Doctor Who to have a Scottish accent, has been recalling the less than lavish lucre he received whilst playing the iconic role in the 1980s.

“The money was terrible at the BBC in those days,” he says.

The actor complained about his woeful wages at the time, which resulted in the boyfriend of the show’s producer explaining to Sylvester the long-term economic benefits of spending time in the Tardis. “The money’s not good,” he said, “but think of it as fat dripping off a pig.”

Sylvester now concedes the point, adding: “It’s been dripping ever since.”

(The Diary assumes this also goes some way towards explaining why Doctor Who has always been such a showcase for hammy performances…)

Right on track

WE’VE been remembering the late singer Sydney Devine, and how he didn’t take himself too seriously. Broadcaster Tony Currie used to work with the country crooner when they both presented shows at Radio Clyde. One day Sydney came into the studio in a state of some excitement, carrying a reel of tape containing the backing tracks for an album he was making called Doubly Devine.

“You’ve got to hear these, Tony, they’re brilliant,” enthused Sydney, adding: “I want you to hear them before I spoil them by singing over the tracks.”

Gritty warriors

WE continue coming up with literary names for those imperious gritter trucks currently making our roads less slippery. Russell Smith from Largs suggests: Ice Cold in Auchenshuggle.

Modern romance

THE daughter of Lee Beattie, the CEO of Glasgow-based public relations firm John Doe, is depressed that Valentine’s Day is over for another year.

Lee tried to comfort her by saying: “But darling, we all just love each other every day.”

The youngster wasn’t to be taken in by this slick PR campaign promoting the love brand, and replied: “Oh mummy, it’s not about loving each other. It’s about presents.”

Flaming idiot

SPOTTING a recent photograph in The Herald of men signing up as fire-watchers, a reader recalls the oft-quoted remark which is said to have been made by a new recruit: “Suppose there is a fire, how long should I watch it?”

Bad booze

YET another of our alternative meanings for well known locations. David Donaldson suggests:

Methil = A hangover from drinking cheap alcohol.

Memorable memo

“WRITE down a wise and profound thought and you will be remembered for all eternity,” says Mary Palmer from Langside, who adds: “I read that somewhere. I think it was what’s-his-face who wrote it.”

Read more: Those were the days...