NOT many Celtic fans will be disappointed that Neil Lennon resigned as manager, though he still has a few supporters, including comedian Mark Nelson, who says: “It is important to remember all the great things Neil Lennon did. For Rangers, Ross County, Sparta Prague...”

Pale (car) rider

A GROUP of students who are planning to shoot a short film in Ayrshire are advertising for actors to audition for the role of Death. And what qualifications are required to play this austere role, you may wonder?

Well, the filmmaking troupe are searching for a female, in her 20s or over, who has a driving licence, if possible.

The Diary is intrigued to discover that death is a damsel, not a dude. We also weren’t aware that she drives to appointments.

We’re now curious to know what happens when the deathmobile breaks down.

Does the Grim Reaperess flag a cab, or does she prefer to patiently wait at the bus stop for the next double-decker?

Secret city

FOR its residents, Glasgow is a fabled metropolis. As poetic as Paris, as dynamic as New York, as infused with mystery as Venice.

Regrettably, those who aren’t natives of the city don’t always think of it in such terms. Sometimes they don’t think of it at all. We recently pointed out that according to eBay there is no Glasgow, just somewhere near Edinburgh.

Which reminds Mary Duncan from Garrowhill of a telephone conversation she had with a chap south of the Border, who asked: "Is Glasgow in Scotland?"

Disgraceful. Though at least the fellow had actually heard of Glasgow. And Scotland.

The education system in England is clearly on an upward trajectory…

The name game

OUR correspondents are recalling nutty nicknames. During his time in the merchant navy Malcolm Boyd from Milngavie sailed with a third mate known as Jumbo. At first Malcolm was confused by this madcap moniker as the chap, whose name was Les, wasn’t overweight. The mystery was solved when our reader spotted Jumbo’s signature: it was L. E. Fant.

Loopy lingo

WE continue to provide new definitions for old words. David Walker suggests: Multivarious = A selection of routes from Tobermory.

Itching to create

BEING trapped at home has forced many people to get creative. Some bake bread. Others learn a musical instrument. Meanwhile, proud reader Steve Doyle says: “I just managed to make dandruff from scratch.”

Mystery monarch

THE grandmother of reader John Campbell once asked: “Who was that old English queen? You know, the one who ruled in the Victorian era.”

Read more: Remember when...