Rogues’ relatives

OUR readers are a talented bunch who can turn their hands to almost anything. For instance, Stevie Campbell from Hamilton fancies a career in TV production, and already has an idea for his first programme. It will trace the ancestry of teenagers who spend their time hanging round town centres making a nuisance of themselves.

And the name of the show? Hoodie You Think You Are?


A DIARY tale about graffiti reminds Lachlan Bradley of being a student in the 1970s, when his rail commute from Woodhall to Glasgow Central was punctuated by reading the seldo- punctuated graffiti on a track-side water tower at Penilee. One morning this practice was interrupted when a coat of battleship grey paint was applied to the tower. Normal service was resumed the following day with the appearance, in vivid red letters, of the following message:

"The painters work has been in vain,

Young Pen vandals strike again."

Flushed with success

WATCHING the Scotland game at the weekend, footy fan Trevor Muir was particularly impressed by Israel’s number 15, a chap named Lavi. “Fortunately he didn’t have too many brushes with the referee,” says Trevor, rather magnanimously, though being a Scotland supporter, we’re sure our correspondent wouldn’t have been too inconsolable if the Israeli fellow had endured a bog awful game.

Talking cobblers

THE Diary is devising jingles based on famous songs to promote local businesses once lockdown ends.

John Mulholland says high street shoe shops would receive an economic boost by using the 1967 Sam & Dave classic Sole Man.

Bungled broadcast

WE’RE discussing how even skilled radio presenters can get their tongues in a twist. Gordon Casely recalls the magical moment when a BBC Good Morning Scotland traffic reporter turned an entire village into an individual bloke when he referred to Craigellachie as Craig Latchie.

Rocky relationships

READER Jennifer McGonigal's chums have suggested that they all clamber up Ben Nevis once lockdown ends. So Jennifer has spent the last few days making a list of everything she needs.

1) New chums.

Dangers of tokenism

ANXIOUS reader David Donaldson notes that there are many unanticipated ways to injure yourself once you reach the age of 50, such as: “Nodding vigorously while your son tries to explain non-fungible tokens to you.”

Flight of fancy

CURIOUS reader Tom Bruce asks: “After the first airport was built did passengers just sit around with their suitcases, patiently reading magazines, until somebody built a second one?”

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