Maggie way

WE recently mentioned that the achievements of British prime ministers are often celebrated at a great distance from their native shores.

Gordon Casely was once cycling in New Zealand when he came across a Thatcher Street in the nation’s capital of Wellington.

Our reader adds: “The bad news was that Thatcher Street bore a sign which read: No Exit.”

(Which rather neatly sums up British life the 1980s…)

Questionable name

A Diary tale about confusing names reminds retired MP Sir Brian Donohoe of the time the politician Geoffrey Howe campaigned in Irvine during a General Election, and introduced himself to an elderly lady.

"Hello. I'm Geoffrey Howe," said he.

"Who?" said she.

"No, it's Howe," persisted the politico.


WE continue with our run of plagiarism tales. A retired Glasgow professor recalls a PhD student who suddenly handed in a complete thesis after months of failing to produce a written word. Suspicions were confirmed when the faculty was contacted by a ghost-writer asking why the fee for 80,000 words of creative writing hadn't been paid.

“Outcome for the thesis?” says our correspondent. “Death by unnatural clauses.”

Boat race

THE sister-in-law of Bearsden reader Brian Crook once worked in Maryhill, where she was stationed at a popular destination known to the natives as the Buroo. One day she bumped into a frequent visitor to this place.

When she inquired where a mutual acquaintance now lived,she was surprised to learn that the friend was in a boat house.

“On the Forth and Clyde Canal?” she enquired.

“Naw,” came the reply. “She boat her ain hoose in Maryhill.”

Tuberous tiff

IN an effort to make the best of being confined to quarters, reader David Donaldson and his wife decided to try growing their own potatoes. The notes said to "chit" them by letting them sprout near a window.

As our correspondent was arranging the seed potatoes in old egg boxes, he overheard his wife explaining to a friend on the phone: "David’s busy chibbing the potatoes."

“After months of lockdown, no Glasgow jury would convict,” says our unrepentant reader.

Cutting comment

HAIRCARE continued. Reader John Hart tells us of a chap who went for a haircut after many years growing it long.

“Did you go to Hillhead High School?” inquired the barber, halfway through the trim.

“How did you know?” asked the customer.

“I’ve just found your cap,” said the barber.

Silly science

“I MET a microbiologist recently,” says reader Harry Amery. “He was much bigger than I expected.”

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