I NOTE your article re Aberdeenshire council's removal of favourite school desserts ("Dessert storm: Custard and ice cream ban leaves pupils in a jam", The Herald, April 15). As a music teacher more than a decade ago, I foresaw the consternation that such measures, without due consideration to the farming community whom it is well known require additional calories, would cause. The classic Coulter's Candy was re-written. To Masters Beverly and Dibb of Rhynie Primary School, Aberdeenshire, I feel your pain. Feel free to borrow. Let this be your anthem.

Ally bally, ally bally bee,

The SNPs hae it in fir me,

It’s 5 a day a’tween 9 and 3,

There’s nae mair sugar candy.


Big Mrs Gallagher‘s lookin’ awfy grim,

She jist caught me chuckin’ ma dinner in the bin,

All ah can say it’s a terrible sin,

That the chip shop’s no that handy.


Ma mate Johnnie’s greetin’ tae,

They jist took aw’ his Irn Bru away

They’re makin’ him drink watter aw’ day,

Smilin’, “Nae mair cans, dear.”


Melons, apples, tangerines and pears,

Enough to make yir stomach sair,

An’ the toilets are aw’ at the bottom o’ the stairs,

An’ I’ll tell ye that’s no handy.


Ah’m aw’ in favour o’ a healthy diet,

If ah don’t get sugar though, there’s gonna be a riot,

They’re daein’ it oan purpose tae keep me quiet,

Ah’m gonna tell ma granny.


From the collection Just Plain Daft.

Maureen McGarry-O'Hanlon, Balloch.


IT would appear that at last the UK may be controlling the Covid virus, but there are far too many countries where it is still rampant. Japan has a fourth wave, Africa is producing variants and the death rate in Brazil is escalating. Other countries are still not getting a grip on the virus.

It makes no sense for more than 30,000 people from 195 countries to be allowed to enter the UK for the COP26 conference in Glasgow. If COP26 is allowed to go ahead and there is a new outbreak of Covid causing deaths in Scotland and the UK, then politicians and organisers should be charged with manslaughter.

Clark Cross, Linlithgow.


I WOULD like to add to Aileen Jackson's letter on wind farms (April 14). For much of this week almost windless conditions are dominating the UK and it brings into question the point of having wind turbines. On Tuesday (April 13) at 7am wind farms were only producing 1.5 per cent of the UK electricity demand. At the same time solar was at zero.

And by 11am wind had dropped further to only cover 0.6% of demand.

All this week gas power stations have been able to fill the deficit with their ability to massively change their output. We haven't yet found a way to turn the wind and sun up or down.

Geoff Moore, Alness.


ON April our First Minister announced everyone in Scotland would have access to twice-weekly free lateral flow testing. This is a brilliant idea and should be heavily advertised and encouraged as a great way of easing out of lockdown whilst closely monitoring for Covid.

England has been offering this service since April 9. Meanwhile in Scotland: tumbleweed.

Paul Morrison, Glasgow.


THE chief of the BBC's creative diversity department, Miranda Wayland, stated that in the programme Luther, the lead character doesn't feel authentic as he doesn't have black friends nor eat Jamaican food ("Diversity chief ‘has Luther doubts’", The Herald, April 15). Does she expect Luther to wear Rasta headgear, speak in the Caribbean patois and play reggae music in his car on the way to cases? Thank goodness that same line wasn't taken with Taggart all those years ago.

As it happens, I don't wear a kilt, have a badger's head purse hanging off my belt, no Mc/Mac in my name, and nor do I eat haggis, so I do not comply with my stereotype either. Nor should I ever hope to get a part in any future BBC programme vetted by that department. I would admit, though, to owning a couple of Jimmy Bunnets if that would help me in my way to stardom.

George Dale, Beith.


THE late Bobby Colgan, a former drummer with Jimmy Shand’s band, recalled the band playing at an annual ball at Balmoral Castle in the presence of Her Majesty and Prince Philip.

A team of Scottish country dancers took the floor. Towards the end of their last set piece they stopped prematurely and left the dance floor. The imperturbable Mr Shand and his band played the tunes to their end.

Lined up to meet the royal couple, Prince Philip pounced: “Ah, Mr Shand, the dancers beat you to the finish tonight.”

Quietly but deliberate Jimmy looked the Prince in the eye and said: “I played whit I wis telt.”

Arthur Greenan, East Linton.