CONGRATULATIONS to Silent Witness (BBC1, Monday-Tuesday), back for its 25th series, with particular props to all those slab boys and girls who have gamely played corpses down the years without corpsing.

To mark the anniversary, Amanda Burton was back as Professor Sam Ryan, once a humble forensic pathologist, now a successful entrepreneur about to get filthy rich by helping the government set up a health passport system, privacy concerns be damned.

When the Secretary of State for Health was assassinated by a sniper, Ryan insisted the current head honcho, Dr Nikki Alexander (Emilia Fox) be placed in charge of the case.

Nikki soon … Actually, hold the phone for a second here. “When the Secretary of State for Health is assassinated”? What madness is this?

If a government minister is going to come a cropper in a television drama it should at least be the Home Secretary, as in Bodyguard. Good to see Silent Witness continues to be home to incredible plots and characters who go wildly beyond their remit in pursuit of justice. Still, if it ain’t broke and all that.

Given the dim lighting in that lab we should be grateful the team solves any case. For all we know, Sam Ryan has been lurking in those shadows for years, preparing to wage the battle of the blonde up-dos with Fox.

George Clarke's Flipping Fast (Channel 4, Wednesday) was a programme to file under “only in Britain”. Only in a country so obsessed with home ownership would you have a competition built around buying and selling property for a quick profit, or “flipping” as it is known.

Six teams, ranging from a couple who had rented all their lives, to a young sports journalist whose fiance’s dad was a builder (handy), were given a budget of £100,000 each. The team at the end of the series who have made the most profit will get to keep the £100k.

It would have seemed money-grabbing and tasteless save for the presence of the genial Clarke, who is expert at jollying people along while they are standing in a pile of rubble wondering what the heck they have done.

One such couple were the lifelong renters, Gordon and Pamela. They made so many basic mistakes – including buying a house off the internet, without a visit or a survey – you began to wonder at the wisdom of the producers in including them, even if it wasn’t the couple's own money being forked out.

Pamela was worryingly cheery in the face of every setback, but after yet another disaster even her gas was at a peep. The pair just about made it through the first week financially. You do hope there are better times ahead for them.

An altogether lighter look at human striving was Grayson's Art Club: Queen's Jubilee Special (Channel 4, Wednesday). If you were looking for a way to ease yourself into the televisual bunfight that will be the platinum jubilee long weekend, this was as cheery a way to start as any.

Grayson, by his own admission, was not a “flag-waving person” but he recognised the affection in which the Queen is held by many and was happy to celebrate the silliness of it all.

Among the artworks submitted by the public was a gorgeous, painstakingly detailed, knitted model of Sandringham. Pauline, a Scot, had made a throne and crown out of succulents, while celebrity guest, Prue Leith, fashioned a chandelier out of teacups, spoons, and other bits and pieces.

The art aside, it was just fun to hang out with Grayson and his other half, Philippa Perry, in their studio, and watch their video chats with artists around the country. If there are as many giggles in the jubilee coverage proper I think we’ll survive.

There is some football thing happening next week, in honour of which Scotland: The Passion of the Play-Offs (BBC1 Scotland, Thursday) rocked up. It was all here, the agony and the ecstasy, the vox pops, the wall to wall delusion. It could have been just another clip show but the clips were finely mined and solid gold (pay those researchers a bonus), and the talking heads, from Willie Miller to Frank McAvennie via Tam Cowan, were good value. They even let a few wummin in on the act, including Amy Irons, the hardest working lady in sports showbusiness, who was on narrating duty.

Miller recalled one particular post-match party in a hotel. Bringing to mind Boris Johnson, famously ambushed by a birthday cake, the Aberdeen legend said he was walking along a corridor, heard some noise, and knocked on the door. Not realising it was a party, he stayed for a few minutes, left and went straight to bed. Miller did well to keep a straight face for as long as he did. If he ever fancies a part in Silent Witness I’ll put in a word.