ONLY the Scots could have invented a word such as “dreich”. And that’s because only the Scots have experienced such a thing as dreich. But what is it, precisely, and can it be cured?

The answer to the first part of that question is simple. Dreich is the scent of damp duffel coat wafting through a chilly hallway on a Sunday afternoon. (Dreich always works its magic best on Sunday afternoons.)

It’s a grey cloud on top of a grey sky above a grey city.

Now to the second part of the question … the cure. And, yes, thankfully there is one.

First, flee the city for somewhere bucolic.

Once you have reached your pastoral idyll, idle a while. Enter a quaint café and – here’s the important bit – order a scone.

For a scone isn’t merely a delicious baked treat. It’s a vanquisher of dolorous days. Dreich no longer exists when you’re scoffing a scrummy scone.

Here are our favourite rural locations to enjoy one. (Or two, if you’re feeling peckish.)

 

Peel Farm

Lintrathen, Kirriemuir

Strolling round Peel Farm’s nature trail, you will discover a gang of exceedingly cute and friendly ducks to whom you can yodel a friendly: “Yoo-hoo!”

(“Yoo-hoo” is duck lingo, by the way. It means: “Fear not, little feathered chaps. I detest orange sauce, so you don’t have to do a runner while I’m around.”)

No matter how cute and friendly the ducks are, you won’t want to share the Peel Farm baked goods with them. That’s because the scones on offer in the café are far too delicious for uncultured wildfowl.

Flavours include plain, fruit, cheese, cinnamon, cranberry and white chocolate.

www.peelfarm.com

 

Drift Canty Bay

North Berwick

In the mood to float, but don’t have the sea legs to board a boat? Then Drift, which is built from recycled shipping containers, is the café for you.

Half a mile from Tantallon Castle, there are lush, liquid views of the Firth of Forth coast, and also the craggy island known as Bass Rock.

If you gaze at Bass Rock long enough, you’ll realise that it looks a lot like a large scone. Though, alas, if you were to bite into Bass Rock you would probably lose a tooth, for it’s made entirely out of, well, rock, of course. (The name’s a bit of a giveaway.)

Thankfully you can sate your appetite by other means which don’t involve chewing on an island.

Instead, nibble one of the genuine scones on offer in Drift, which are homemade from a family recipe generations old.

www.driftalong.co.uk

 

Loch Leven’s Larder

Channel Farm (near Kinross)

IF you’re looking for a bargain, then Loch Leven’s Larder has the perfect three-for-one deal. Because there’s triple the treat with a trio of cafes, each with its own special ambience.

Choose from the Larder Café; an outdoor Canopy Café (fully covered and heated); and the Greenhouse Café.

Or perhaps overdose on your tea-sipping revelries by proceeding with a café crawl, which means spending thirst-quenching quality time in each location.

Scones available include plain, cheese, fruit and specialities such as chocolate and coconut, or raspberry.

www.lochlevenslarder.com

 

Brambles of Inveraray

5 Main Street, Inveraray

YOU may want to attempt to dislocate your jaw before jousting with one of the scones in this café bistro, because they’re more than a mouthful of munch.

Mighty, they are. And mucho mouth-watering.

All the home baking is excellent, and the hearty breakfasts and seafood from the neighbouring Loch Fyne are also impressive. The only problem is that after tackling such a mountainous amount of grub you may want to curl up in a ball to enjoy a post-prandial snooze.

Which would never do, because Brambles is close to a pretty marina, which you really should explore once tea and scones have been demolished.

www.inverarayhotel.com

 

The Bealach Café

Tornapress, Strathcarron, Highland

TRUE scone aficionados will travel great distances in order to devour their favourite baked goods. Like bold explorers from the Victorian era, they will brave any hardship, face any danger, just so they can nibble triumphantly on a plain scone. (They’re willing to put even more on the line when chocolate chips are involved.)

So you can understand why it’s no problem for city slicker scone admirers to make their way to the Bealach Café in the lonesome north-west Highlands at the foot of Bealach na Ba, one of the UK’s steepest roads.

The landscape might be solitary, but the café atmosphere is positively convivial. During the winter months a wood burning stove is ablaze, keeping customers toasty warm, just like the scones on offer.

www.thebealach.co.uk

 

The Temple

22 Northton, Isle of Harris

STEAM wafting from your coffee cup blends with the haze drifting in from the salt marshes of Northton Bay, off the Isle of Harris, when you visit The Temple.

This misty, mystical café is the home of the UK’s most westerly micro coffee roaster.

There’s also a bakery and deli, and the food arrives from the nearby mountain, meadow and sea, plus the owner’s greenhouse.

The whisky-infused marmalade on sale would bring a boozy glow to even the most sedate of scones.

The hard stuff blended with soft nibbles – what could be better?

www.templeharris.com

 

Coach House Coffee Shop

Luss, Loch Lomond

LOCH Lomond doesn’t have an aquatic monster lurking in its watery depths, unlike a certain rival Scottish loch.

But who needs a celebrity beasty when you can instead boast a nearby café voted as having the best ambience of the year in 2018?

The Coach House Coffee Shop in Luss is that very place. A dog-friendly nosh stop that does indeed have ample ambience, plus huge pots of tea to go with the constantly varying scone selection.

There’s also a swish baby changing area not to be poo-poo’d.

www.lochlomondtrading.com

 

The Cream Chimneys

15 The Square, Kelso

“I CAN resist anything but temptation,” Oscar Wilde once confessed. Which means he’d have been a gibbering wreck if he had ever visited The Cream Chimneys, which has a special Table of Temptation, overflowing with cakes and traybakes, including vegan, gluten and dairy-free. The homemade scones include sultana and citrus zest, or mature Scottish cheese.

www.thecreamchimneys.co.uk

 

The Glencoe Café

Glencoe Village, Ballachulish

BIRD watching usually involves donning wellies and squelching through bog-awful bogs for interminable hours until you at last spot a solitary robin, who’s too darned rude to acknowledge your presence, and instead turns his back on you whilst getting stuck into his worm supper. The Glencoe Café allows you to avoid such strife, struggle and schlep. You can watch the birds feeding on the window and garden feeders, and chomp one of the café’s homemade cheese and herb scones while doing so.

www.glencoecafe.co.uk

 

Laggan Coffee Bothy and Gallery

Laggan Bridge, Newtonmore

SITUATED in the village of Laggan in the Cairngorm National Park, the Laggan Coffee Bothy and Gallery is both out of the way and out of this world.

While devouring scones, you can meet Kara the African Grey parrot, who hangs around the shop and oftens squawks to customers: “Come on, eat your lunch.”

(You’d be a fool to ignore her advice.)

lagganstores.co.uk