HOW can you ignore a theatre production that dubs itself “The Sound of Music meets Scary Movie”? Nor can you bypass a production that has delicious panto-esque production values. That’s why Death Drop, the “hilarious thriller which pays homage to all your favourite horror films – from IT to Scream and everything in-between” looks to set to pack theatres.

The story tells of Father Alfie Romeo who is drawn to the Convent of St Babs to discover what has happened to a missing priest, which triggers unnatural happenings that threaten the sacred way of life.

Can Sisters, Titis, Mary Berry, Maria, Julie Andrews and their Mother Superior help to discover the truth, or will they give Father Romeo a thorny crown of a headache? Will they unmask their terrifying tormentor before it’s too late? Or is the call coming from inside the convent?

Add a subplot based around the legend of ghostly children haunting the convent and a lost “Ring of Saint Babs” and you can see the opportunity for laughs. Expect lots screaming women running towards the exits of a convent that resembles a Hammer Horror set, and the murdering of nuns and jokes.

“Perhaps the more hardcore horror fans in the audience would like a more cohesive narrative or consistency to the seemingly endless array of threats that our clergy members face,” wrote reviewer Isabella Crawley. “But any major plot holes are filled well enough with dancing, singing, and hairspray.” Budding playwrights, take note. If your narrative is weakening, reach for the hairspray.

RuPaul’s Drag Race star Cheryl Hole leads an all-drag cast including River Medway, Victoria Scone and Drag King superstar LoUis CYfer.

Death Drop, His Majesty’s Theatre, Aberdeen, Jan 23-28; King’s Theatre, Glasgow, Feb 23-25

WE have reached that time of year. Our dames, our uglies and principal boys have removed the industrial slap, our hapless dafties have pulled off the costumes that have become -sweat-stained from running back and forth maniacally across the stage twice daily, with matinees. And our princesses, far more empowered these days, have met their princes, but established relationships that are very much on their terms.

Yes, panto is over, and so is the chance to veer off into the world of sheer silliness, a welcome diversion from reality. But we still need fantasy in our lives, don’t we? We still need to retain the hope that love conquers all, that evil can be banished, despite the forces of darkness doing their best to create havoc. And we all love to see an ugly (or a diva) go over on her/his giant heels (figuratively speaking).

That’s where Bodyguard comes in. The musical, based on the 1992 film, tells the story of a sharp-suited, broad-shouldered man who happens to be quite good with his hands when it comes to protecting damsels in distress.

This handsome fella (think Kevin Costner in his younger days) finds himself charged with protecting the stunningly gorgeous and talented – but rude as an ugly sister – singer, from a stalker.

What develops is a battle of wills. Will she listen to his advice when it comes to protection? Will he listen to her proclaim that the only real threat she faces is in breaking into the Top Ten, and that any stalker out there is likely to he as dangerous as Buttons? And will they get it together in the end?

This incarnation of the stage version features Pussycat Doll and multi-platinum nominated Melody Thornton as the thorny diva Rachel Marron. Ayden Callaghan of Emmerdale and Hollyoaks fame plays the irascible but fearless Frank Farmer.

Of course, the Houston-Costner movie wasn’t great. It was . . . OK. But when you take the “opposites attract” love story and couple it with the songs that made Whitney Houston a megastar then that offers a far headier mix.

Only a wicked stepmother could remain unmoved in their seat on hearing the likes of I Wanna Dance with Somebody, Saving All My love and I Will Always Love You. And, like panto, this musical is incredibly self-aware. The chance to pull laughs from the tension is seldom passed by.

What better way to ease into the new theatre season? What better way to pull the blinds down on the harsh real world, when all princes seem to want is to sell books or throw little brothers onto dog bowls and where wicked stepmothers have little to do but brief the press?

Bodyguard shows at the King’s Theatre, Glasgow, Jan 28-Feb 4; Edinburgh Playhouse Feb 20-25; His Majesty’s Theatre, Aberdeen, May 2-6