Going for gold

WE recently mentioned the dire economic situation that has cast a shadow over the nation, leading to the closure of once-prosperous businesses.

However it’s not all doom and gloom on the high street, for on social media the good people of Scotia’s east coast are celebrating a local store that has weathered the financial storms to remain fiscally afloat.

That commercial enterprise is Borlands of Leith, which proudly specialises in selling darts paraphernalia and TV sets.

This may initially appear to be an unusual combination, like a shop that only sells pet food and rugby balls.

But it’s a winning formula for Borlands.

Explains one ardent fan of the shop on Twitter: “People will always want darts and television. And if they can get them in the same shop, that's pure gold.”

Astronautics axed

DEPRESSING economic matters, continued. Teachers striking… nurses striking…. railway workers… okay, you get the picture.

Now the UK Space Agency is set to down tools, which is the last straw for reader Jean Thomas, who says: “This means I’ll have to cancel my package holiday to the molten hot core of the sun. Now I don’t know how I’ll be able to maintain my tan this winter.”

Battered birdy

GOOD news (for once). Scientists revealed they have the technology to bring the extinct species of bird, the dodo, back to life.

Which delights reader Andrew Dewar, who says: “As a committed Glaswegian I’m eager to discover exciting new delicacies to further harden my arteries. Now I can look forward to the grand opening on Argyle Street of KFD… Kentucky Fried Dodo.”

Rhyme time

LITERARY expert Arthur Roberts explains: “A backward poet writes inverse.”

Read more from the Diary: Foiled by the haggis that fought back

Initially confused, continued

WE’RE discussing Perthshire thespian Alan Cumming, who returned his OBE in disgust, presumably after stumbling upon a pop-up book titled A Beginner’s Guide to the UK, which explained to him that:

1) OBE stands for Order of the British Empire.

2) That particular empire is now viewed as an itty bit iffy.

Now we’re theorising that Alan originally assumed the initials OBE meant something entirely different.

Jacob McDonald suggests Cumming believed it was a description of how his fellow actors would react upon discovering he’d bagged a glitzy gong from the Bovernment.

Says Jacob. “Clearly he thought it meant: Oodles of Beelin' Envy.”

A company man

ECONOMIC entropy, yet again. “I asked my boss for a raise because three companies are after me,” says Terry Sinclair. “He asked which ones. I replied: gas, water, electric.”