Fiery race

THE BBC prides itself on its impartiality in politics, claiming to merely report the issues rather than nudging the populace in one direction or another.

However, reader Amanda Hunter wonders if the Corporation may actually be sneakily supporting one of the candidates in the titanic struggle to find a new SNP leader.

Says Amanda: “On Sunday afternoon the Beeb broadcast that classic Oscar-winning flick, Chariots of Fire, which celebrates athlete Eric Liddell, a devout Christian who refused to sacrifice his beliefs, even when that endangered his chances of victory.”

Raising an intrigued eyebrow, Amanda adds: “Now which SNP leadership candidate does that remind me of…?”

007’s number’s up

THE James Bond novels are being re-released with numerous changes because the publisher believes the original stories are outdated.

The ever-helpful Diary is devising new titles for the books to ensure they’re in tune with modern times.

David Hall suggests updating Goldfinger to reflect the financial realities of our modern age.

“Surely,” says David, “it should now be called Cryptocurrencyfinger.”

Mucho moolah music

CONFUSED reader Bob Kelly from Falkirk gets in touch to ask: “Why is it called a grand piano? Last time I checked, it cost much more than that.”

Misty musings

LISTENING to a TV weather report, reader Martin Brown was surprised to learn that an "Apache fog" would cover parts of Scotland.

“I’d never previously heard of this type of fog,” admits Martin, “though I was curious to know why it was named after a Native American tribe.”

After musing over this puzzle for a while, Martin came to the conclusion that perhaps what the weatherman actually said was "a patchy fog".

Work woes

THE teenage daughter of reader Edward Nelson quit her weekend office job. “I’m so relieved I don’t have to pretend to know what I’m doing any more,” she said. “It’s much more exhausting than actually knowing what you’re doing.”

Tat-too much?

BODY art is exceedingly popular these days, though not everyone is a fan of tattoos. Reader Linda Nevill was once in a nightclub with a gal pal when she spotted a chap with tattoos on his arms, neck, and even a few on his face.

“I think he’s actually quite attractive,” admitted Linda to her pal.

“Ugh! Not for me” replied the pal. “He’s got more ink on him than a backfiring squid.”

Bird-brained reasoning

“YOU can never lose a homing pigeon,” points out reader Victoria Bulmer, “because if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you’ve actually lost is a pigeon.”

Read more from the Diary: How Taoiseach brewed problems for a confused elderly mother