Fat chance
It was World Obesity Day on Saturday, which didn’t hinder the hubby of reader Kate Armstrong from dragging her into his favourite greasy spoon café in Glasgow’s East End, where he proceeded to order a fry-up of gargantuan proportions, which included hefty amounts of deceased hog, arriving in the guise of streaky bacon and sizzling sausage.
Kate scrutinised the plate for optimistic signs of sprightly foliage, but not a lettuce leaf could she identify.
“Is that the best you can do on World Obesity Day?” scoffed Kate to her scoffing husband.
In between manic munches he replied: “Maybe I’ve got it all wrong. I thought it was a celebration of obesity – not a critique.”
Relatively unusual
THE teenage daughter of reader Roberta Houston has a good relationship with her grandmother, often contacting her on the phone.
The other day Roberta caught her daughter texting late in the evening.
“I hope that’s not grandma you’re messaging at this time of night,” said Roberta.
“Course not,” replied her daughter. “I’m texting normal people.”
Bru who?
A WHILE ago reader Christopher Robertson was on a jolly in New York with pals. One member of the posse didn’t want to start on the hard stuff straight away, so in the first boozer he ordered Irn-Bru.
The New York barman responded with a quizzical look, a shake of the head and a shrug of the shoulders.
“This guy doesn’t know what I’m talking about,” muttered our reader’s chum. “Are you sure they speak English in this town?”
Read more from the Diary: Tales of fare play and fair play
Angling on easy
AMUSING musical musings from reader Colin Brown, who asks: “How many musical instruments do you have to be rubbish at before you settle on the triangle?”
Water palaver
WE continue updating the James Bond novels, making them more palatable for modern sensibilities. Keith Sullivan argues that The Man With The Golden Gun doesn’t accurately represent our era of relentless defence cuts, where state-of-the-art military technology is impossible to procure.
He suggests the book should be released with the more realistic title… The Man With The Tin-Plated Water-Pistol.
Brought to book
BIBLIOPHILE Walter Sheppard was in the Sauchiehall Street branch of Waterstones when he spotted an elderly lady straying into the store.
Initially mildly intrigued, her features rapidly crumbled into a landslide of disappointment as she hissed in disgust: “Books!”
She then retreated into the relative safety of Sauchiehall Street, where less hideous merchandise awaited her.
Inflated info
PROUD reader Oliver Wilkie tells us: “My ability to make hyperbolic statements is utterly, utterly amazing.”
Read more from the Diary: Is the BBC under starter's orders?
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel