Sign of times

WE’RE celebrating memorable edits.

Finlay Buchanan grew up in Kilmarnock, over 50 years ago, where there was a local road-safety campaign featuring large signs with the slogan: "A little care gets you there."

Over time selected letters were painted over, so that it read: “A little car gets you here." And finally: "A little car gets you her."

Says Finlay: “Being a non-driver at the time, it certainly echoed with my lack of success in finding a girlfriend.”

On yer bike

THE changing face of Glasgow city centre has resulted in the main thoroughfares being inundated with healthy young chaps feverishly peddling delivery bicycles.

The bikes are usually motorised affairs, meaning they race along at quite a clip. Perhaps not as fast as a genuine motorcycle, though certainly a lot nippier than an elderly tortoise out for his morning jog.

Reader Nicola Dempsey was strolling down Buchanan Street with her husband when one such bike zipped past, then hurtled, pell-mell, on its way.

“Look at that eejit,” harrumphed Nicola’s hubby. “Slaloming in and out of folk like he’s on a ski slope. Who does he think he is – Gwyneth Paltrow?”

Loopy lingo

LINGUISTICALLY-ASTUTE reader Margot Gordon points out: “The word ‘swims’ upside down is still ‘swims’.”

📖 Sign up to the Herald Diary newsletter and get the sublime and the ridiculous sent directly to your inbox every day.

👉 Click here to sign up

Read more: Why boys called Noah are so aptly named for our times

Kids just kidding

APRIL Fools’ Day is over for another year, though its repercussions linger, with many relationships irrevocably destroyed by "hilarious" practical jokes.

When he was in school reader Stephen Beaton and his classmates devised an April the First prank to top them all, cobbling together a letter which they left in an envelope on their teacher’s desk.

The letter informed the teacher, in rather brusque fashion, that she had been sacked.

Arriving in class, the teacher immediately opened the letter and perused its contents. After a few moments the class yelled in unison: “April Fool!”

Unfortunately the teacher was too upset to concentrate on what they were saying. She was also racing at speed for the classroom door, tears rolling down her cheeks.

She eventually discovered it was a joke, half an hour later, after she had visited numerous classrooms (still weeping) to inform her fellow teachers of her cruel fate.

Bonding exercise

HUMZA Yousaf has his fans and detractors. We’ve a good idea which camp reader Bob Doncaster is in, for he says: “Humza thinks he’s the Sean Connery of Scottish politics. In reality he’s George Lazenby.”

Theory of evolution

CURIOUS reader Jenny Larner asks: “Are people born with photographic memories or does it take time to develop?”