Taking the biscuit
CURIOUS happenings at Muirend train station. Reader Harvey Johnson, who regularly gets an early train from the station, noticed one morning that a champagne glass and half-full bottle of bubbly had been left on a platform seat.
Days later, on the very same seat, sat a box of Mr Kipling cakes.
At the beginning of this week there was an unopened packet of Custard Cream biscuits.
Our reader has a theory: “I believe these are sacrificial offerings to the Omnipotent Gods of Public Transport, given in the hope that they will take pity on their faithful followers, and make the trains run on time.”
Adds Harvey: “So far it seems to be working. I might even offer up a pack of Jaffa Cakes, myself, later this week.”
Initially confusing
A PAL of reader Gordon McRae was recalling an acquaintance who he described as having “more than a touch of the “Billy Oceans about him”.
This reference confused Gordon, until he was directed to think about the popular 1980s singer’s initials...
📖 Sign up to the Herald Diary newsletter and get the sublime and the ridiculous sent directly to your inbox every day.
April antics
IT was recently reported that an April Fools’ gag went awry after a Royal Mail manager wrote a letter pretending employees had received a generous pay hike.
Which reminds Bernard Wilkinson of a school gag he and his fellow classmates played one April the First.
The entire class of students moseyed into a strange classroom, to be taught by a teacher they had no previous dealings with.
This chap’s genuine pupils went to Bernard’s classroom, to be taught by his teacher.
“What was genuinely shocking,” says Bernard, “was that it took more than an hour before either teacher spotted a swap had been made. I guess when you’ve been teaching for too long, all pupils blur into one hideous entity.”
Water interesting question
AN epistemological ichthyological question from reader Beryl Walton, who asks: “Do fish realise they are wet?”
Darkness visible
A TALE of gloomy disappointment from reader Chris Armstrong, who says: “I searched on eBay for something to light my lamp. I got the response: ‘No matches found’.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here