WE mentioned the travails of sporting red hair. Reader Nicholas Barr attended high school in Edinburgh in the late 1970s, an era when punk was all the rage. Nicholas was such an ardent fan of the youth movement that he dyed his hair green.

At this time Nicholas’s closest pals were a red-haired fellow and another chap with golden blond hair.

Says Nicholas: “Perhaps inevitably, in high school we were rather dismissively referred to as the Traffic Light Trio.”

Good Friday miracle?

A BIBLICAL tale (almost). Hugh Steele, from Cumbernauld, admits to us he is slightly “corned beef” and uses a hearing aid.

On Good Friday he bumped into one of his neighbours at the local shopping mall, and got chatting.

When they parted, Hugh could have sworn this lady’s final comment was, "I'm just away to see Jesus."

Assuming that Cumbernauld had an illustrious new resident, Hugh asked his neighbour to repeat her last statement.

Rather disappointingly, she said: "I'm just away to TJ Hughes."


A DIARY story about a crossword reminds entertainer Andy Cameron of the wee labourer in John Brown’s shipyard who was struggling with a Herald crossword clue when his gaffer caught him, and kindly asked if he could help.

“Aye,” says the wee fella, “ah canny get this clue ataw. Postman’s carrier?”

“Hoo many letters?” asks the gaffer, who apparently was as slow as a week in the jile.

The wee labourer looked at him with disdain and says: “Oh, hunners and hunners, ah would think.”

Golf gaff

WATCHING golf on telly reminded reader Jim Morrison of the time the Normandy Driving Range in Renfrew was being extended.

A firm was employed to do the job, and they arrived with the usual squad of workers and paraphernalia, including a JCB digger and a driver to operate it.

After a few days the company manager arrived to see how work was progressing.

The JCB was not being used at the time, so the manager wandered into the golf shop, and asked the assistant behind the till if the JCB driver was in the shop.

“I don’t think so,” she replied, “but we’ve got Ping, Callaway and TaylorMade in stock.”

Stretching the truth

ON Saturday reader Dawn Robinson visited Rouken Glen Park with her five-year-old grandson. Spotting swans in the pond, Dawn’s grandson said: “They’ve got very stretchy necks. D’you think they’re related to giraffes?”

Picture this

CREATIVELY conscious reader Laurie Niven points out: “Cave paintings were once modern art.”