Braw boss buffers

INDUSTRIOUS reader Ken McIntosh recalls when he was the manager of a factory just outside Dundee. One day he was about to leave his office when he spotted a mark on the handle of his door. Producing a hanky from his pocket, he proceeded to wipe away the offending smudge.

At this very moment the factory cleaner appeared on her rounds and spotted Ken buffing the handle.

She shook her head in wonderment and awe, then said approvingly: “I can see why yer the boss, Mr Mac. Yer a man o’ many talents.”

Hot new commodity

THE other day reader Glen Kennedy took his young son to visit his mother. At one point the little lad said: “Did they have the internet when you were young, Gran?”

“When I was young,” sighed Gran, “fire was a new thing.”

Bums away

WE mentioned the trial alert from the Government that bleeped on mobile phones on Sunday, which reminds Bill Thompson from Lenzie of the time he visited a Ministry of Defence site.

A large notice in the office advised what to do if the two minute warning was given announcing a nuclear attack.

It read…

1 Remove all loose items from desk

2 Close all windows and doors.

3 Close all curtains 

4 Push desks under windows 

5 Hide under desk

6 Put your head between your legs 


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Good timing

WE continue improving classic movies by adding the word library to their titles. John Mulholland suggests a film about a time traveller from 1985 who journeys to 1955 to return a book he borrowed that year.

The blockbuster flick would, of course, be called…Back to the Library.

Hard to swallow

A CULINARY thought from reader Ross Wilson, who says: “Everybody in line after you at a buffet is really just eating leftovers.”

Duck season

OUR mention of a reader who found the English language confusing reminds Alex Gordon of his school days, when he was first told by a teacher about the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award.

For some reason he initially thought the teacher said the Duck of Edinburgh’s Award.

Says Alex: “I remember thinking, what’s so special about this Edinburgh duck – and why is it giving out prizes?”

Popping off

AN inspiring tale about an industrious worker. Reader Jenny Bruce asked her boss where she should put a large roll of bubble wrap.

“Pop it in the corner,” said her boss.

“It took me two hours,” says Jenny.