IT'S a sad day when the polis are called in to investigate the due process of electing a Labour MP.

Decisions on who is to be the next tribune of the people are taken by the members of the constituency Labour party. This is rubber-stamped by the general public at an election when the returning officer weighs the number of votes.

It is traditional for the selection process to cause an upsurge of interest and activity in the constituency party with many new members signing up.

On occasion the recruits may not be entirely au fait with their role in the process.

Like the ladies who thought they were being taken to the bingo but ended up voting in a new MP for a Glasgow southside constituency. Or the time a city MP whose seat was axed found a new billet in a new town. His campaign included taking rooms in a local hotel and inviting CLP voters to come and discuss, over quite a few drinks, how the workers of the world could be freed of their chains.

These are examples from last century. The Unite union appears to have been less than subtle and perhaps over-zealous in this contentious selection in Falkirk. To the extent that Labour HQ in London have put the matter in the hands of the police, although the union categorically denies any wrongdoing.

I don't know what has been going on in Falkirk. Outgoing MP Eric Joyce, pictured (described variously in the public prints as "shamed" and/or "disgraced") has said Unite officials have acted in a hubristic and irresponsible manner. He may be seen as an expert witness on hubris and irresponsibility.

This business of involving police, or even Labour HQ, is unnecessary. It is a restriction of trade on ambitious Labour politicians securing a job with a decent wage, huge expenses, a sofa and big TV from the taxpayer, and eventual earnings as a lobbyist.

Next thing there will be a law preventing children from inheriting a parent's safe seat.

The fraud squad will investigate the number of former Eton schoolboys and Oxbridge graduates in the Cabinet. Questions will be asked as to how so many wealthy folk and scions of the landed gentry get to be Conservative MPs.

Is there not an undue preponderance of kilted men in the elected ranks of the SNP? Look closely and you may find both the Lib-Dems and the Greens have been infiltrated by sandal-wearing vegetarians.