DISAPPOINTING news that Peter Capaldi is the next Doctor Who.

I had hoped Capaldi, in his persona as scary spin doctor Malcolm Tucker, would be put in charge of the BBC's independence referendum coverage.

Extreme measures may be needed to get to the heart of issues. The BBC would warn: "The following debate on a replacement for the Barnett formula is chaired by Malcolm Tucker and may contain violent sexual imagery."

A spokesman for Better Together may be advised during the discussion by the Capaldi character: "Answer the effin question or I will rip your skin off. I will wear it to your mother's birthday party." There would be other threats involving nuts and whistling Bohemian effin Rhapsody, the detail of which we cannot go into, The Herald being a douce family newspaper.

Of course, The Thick of It is not real life. But straightforward insult may be a more engaging debating tool than endless and earnest sniping between the Yes and No front lines.

I look forward to BBC Scotland's Political Editor Brian Taylor, natty as ever in his braces, warn First Minister Salmond that he will have his effin kidneys for cufflinks.

The BBC political coverage's loss will be drama's gain as Peter Capaldi will make an excellent Doctor Who.

There remains the possibility of Capaldi bringing the Doctor into the independence debate. There is a precedent. Way back in the 1960s, when Patrick Troughton was Doctor Two, he turned up at the battle of Culloden. There ensued a storyline with a firmly pro-Jacobite agenda and actor Frazer Hines as Jamie, the Doctor's young kilted companion.

It would be no bother for the new Doctor to travel back to Scotland in 1707 when the big debate on the Treaty of Union was taking place. There may be a hint of the Malcolm Tucker as the Doctor warns one of the parcel of rogues in the nation that he will rip off his effin gonads and send them to a poste restante location in a distant part of the English empire.

By coincidence, there is a Scottish hooligan character called Jamie from the Thick of It who might accompany Capaldi into the Tardis.

He's the young spin doctor who threatens to fight using "Motherwell rules". This involves pool cues being stuck in various orifices. Could be more than a match for the Daleks.